<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div><span></span></div><div><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><div><span></span></div><div><div>Courtesy of the New Yorker at:</div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><br></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><a href="http://tinyurl.com/New-Jobs-for-Unskilled-Workers" target="_blank" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">http://tinyurl.com/New-Jobs-for-Unskilled-Workers</a></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><br></div><div id="AppleMailSignature">--------------------------------</div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><div id="AppleMailSignature"><h1 class="title" itemprop="headline" style="border: 0px; padding: 0px; -webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; text-rendering: geometricprecision; font-size: 38px; font-family: 'Irvin Heading', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; text-transform: uppercase; line-height: 1.1; letter-spacing: -0.05rem; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; margin: 5px 0px 12px !important; font-variant-ligatures: none !important;">UNSKILLED WORKERS REPORT FOR NEW JOBS</h1></div><div id="AppleMailSignature">WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Sixty-four unskilled workers will report to new jobs in Washington, D.C. on Tuesday as part of a federal jobs program that provides employment for people unable to find productive work elsewhere.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><br></div><div id="AppleMailSignature">The new hires, who have no talents or abilities that would make them employable in most workplaces, will be earning a first-year salary of $174,000.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><br></div><div id="AppleMailSignature">For that sum, the new employees will be expected to work a hundred and thirty-seven days a year, leaving them with two hundred and twenty-eight days of vacation.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><br></div><div id="AppleMailSignature">Some critics have blasted the federal jobs program as too expensive, noting that the workers were chosen last November in a bloated and wasteful selection process that cost the nation nearly four billion dollars.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><br></div><div id="AppleMailSignature">But Davis Logsdon, a University of Minnesota economics professor who specializes in labor issues, said that the program is necessary to provide work “for people who honestly cannot find employment anywhere else.”</div></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><br></div><div id="AppleMailSignature">--------------------------------<br><br><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div><br></div></div></div></div></body></html>