<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div>Courtesy of the <i>New Yorker</i> at:</div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://tinyurl.com/Proresters-at-White-House" target="_blank" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">http://tinyurl.com/Proresters-at-White-House</a></div><div><br></div><div>---------------------------------</div><div><div><h1 class="title" itemprop="headline" style="border: 0px; padding: 0px; -webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; text-rendering: geometricprecision; font-size: 38px; font-family: 'Irvin Heading', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; text-transform: uppercase; line-height: 1.1; letter-spacing: -0.05rem; -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; margin: 5px 0px 12px !important; font-variant-ligatures: none !important;">INAUGURATION PROTESTERS PLAN TO SURROUND WHITE HOUSE TO KEEP OBAMA FROM LEAVING</h1></div><div><br></div><div>WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Borowitz Report)—Organizers of a massive Inauguration protest announced on Saturday that they intend to surround the White House on January 20th in order to prevent President Barack Obama from leaving.</div><div><br></div><div>According to Harland Dorrinson, the organizer of the protest, after the plans for the demonstration were announced, between eighty and ninety million Americans expressed an initial interest in participating.</div><div><br></div><div>“People really seem to like this idea,” he said.</div><div><br></div><div>He acknowledged that people were still planning to petition the Electoral College, but added, “This idea has a much better shot at success.”</div><div><br></div><div>As of late Saturday, the plans for the protest had drawn ridicule from Kellyanne Conway, a trusted Trump adviser. “Honestly, we have way bigger things to be concerned about leading up to the Inauguration, like finding entertainers willing to perform at it.”</div></div><div><br></div><div>---------------------------------<br><br><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div> </div></div></div></body></html>