<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div><span></span></div><div><div>Courtesy of the New Yorker at:</div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://tinyurl.com/Obama-Signs-Executive-Order" target="_blank" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">http://tinyurl.com/Obama-Signs-Executive-Order</a></div><div><br></div><div>--------------------------------</div><div><div><h1 class="title" itemprop="headline" style="border: 0px; padding: 0px; -webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; text-rendering: geometricprecision; font-size: 38px; font-family: 'Irvin Heading', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; text-transform: uppercase; line-height: 1.1; letter-spacing: -0.05rem; margin: 5px 0px 12px !important;">OBAMA SIGNS EXECUTIVE ORDER REQUIRING PRESIDENT OF UNITED STATES TO BE TAXPAYER</h1></div><div><br></div><div>WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling his action “long overdue,” President Barack Obama on Friday signed an executive order requiring that the President of the United States be a federal taxpayer.</div><div><br></div><div>The order, which makes a non-taxpayer ineligible to serve as President, goes into effect immediately.</div><div><br></div><div>“Since the President has such a large say in how federal taxes are spent, it only makes sense that he or she contribute to those taxes, too,” he said, noting that all forty-three people who have served as President have been taxpayers.</div><div><br></div><div>The President urged people “not to read too much into the timing” of his executive order. “It just seemed like the right thing to do,” he said.</div><div><br></div><div>Obama’s action drew howls of protest from Republicans on Capitol Hill, including the House Speaker Paul Ryan. “This is nothing less than an attack on the American dream of paying no taxes,” Ryan said.</div><div><br></div><div>The President, who brushed off that criticism, is reportedly readying another executive order requiring Cabinet members to have held at least a summer job relevant to their posts.</div></div><div><br></div><div>--------------------------------<br><br><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div> </div></div></div></div></body></html>