<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div>Courtesy of the New Yorker at:</div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://tinyurl.com/Clinton-Changes-Slogan" target="_blank" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">http://tinyurl.com/Clinton-Changes-Slogan</a></div><div><br></div><div>---------------------------------</div><div><br></div><div><h1 class="title" itemprop="headline" style="border: 0px; margin: 5px 0px 2px; padding: 0px; -webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; text-rendering: geometricprecision; font-size: 38px; font-family: 'Irvin Heading', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; text-transform: uppercase; line-height: 1.1; letter-spacing: -0.05rem;">IN FINAL APPEAL TO VOTERS, CLINTON CHANGES SLOGAN TO “WON’T BLOW UP PLANET”</h1></div><div><div><br></div><div>RALEIGH (Borowitz Report)—Delivering her closing argument of the 2016 campaign, Hillary Clinton has replaced her campaign slogan, “Stronger Together,” with a new one, “Won’t Blow Up Planet.”</div><div><br></div><div>According to Clinton-campaign sources, the new slogan is designed to appeal to suburban women, a group of voters that has historically opposed blowing up the planet.</div><div><br></div><div>Clinton launched the slogan at a campaign appearance in Raleigh, North Carolina, where she told supporters, “On Day One of my Administration, I will work for you. I will fight for you. And I will not blow up the planet.”</div><div><br></div><div>But, even as Clinton spoke, the slogan came under fire from Donald Trump’s campaign manager, Kellyanne Conway, who said that it reflected “the failed policies of the past.”</div><div><br></div><div>“The American people have just had eight years of a President who didn’t blow up the planet,” Conway said. “Donald Trump is offering something different.”</div></div><div><br></div><div>---------------------------------<br><br><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div> </div></div></div></body></html>