<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div>Courtesy of the <i>New Yorker </i>at:</div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://tinyurl.com/Trump-Surges-Ahead" target="_blank" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">http://tinyurl.com/Trump-Surges-Ahead</a></div><div><br></div><div>--------------------------------</div><div><div><h1 class="title" itemprop="headline" style="border: 0px; margin: 5px 0px 2px; padding: 0px; -webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; text-rendering: geometricprecision; font-size: 38px; font-family: 'Irvin Heading', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; text-transform: uppercase; line-height: 1.1; letter-spacing: -0.05rem;">TRUMP SURGES AHEAD OF CLINTON IN POLL CONDUCTED BY HIS BRAIN</h1></div><div><br></div><div>NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Donald Trump has surged ahead of Hillary Clinton in a new poll conducted by Trump’s brain.</div><div><br></div><div>The poll, taken after Trump’s brain perceived that he demolished Clinton in the third and final Presidential debate, shows him ahead of Clinton, sixty-four per cent to thirty-one per cent.</div><div><br></div><div>In a sign that his criticism of Clinton has been just fantastic, a majority of imaginary voters in Trump’s head agree that she is a “nasty woman,” with more than seventy per cent calling her “crooked,” “sad,” and a “disgrace.”</div><div><br></div><div>In more incredibly amazing good news for the G.O.P. nominee, Trump’s brain reports that his standing with women has markedly improved, with ninety per cent calling him “extremely handsome” and “sexy.”</div><div><br></div><div>According to Trump’s brain, the poll has no margin of error, absolutely none, it’s a tremendous poll, you just can’t believe how great this poll is.</div></div><div><br></div><div>--------------------------------<br><br><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div> </div></div></div></body></html>