<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div>Courtesy of the New Yorker at:</div><div><br></div><div><span style="text-decoration: underline; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><a href="http://tinyurl.com/jp566ff">http://tinyurl.com/jp566ff</a></span></div><div><br></div><div>--------------------------------</div><div><br></div><div><div><h1 class="title" itemprop="headline" style="border: 0px; margin: 5px 0px 2px; padding: 0px; -webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; text-rendering: geometricprecision; font-size: 38px; font-family: 'Irvin Heading', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; text-transform: uppercase; line-height: 1.1; letter-spacing: -0.05rem;">TRUMP WARNS HILLARY MAY RIG ELECTION BY GEtting more votes</h1></div><div><br></div><div>GREENSBORO, N.C. (The Borowitz Report)—Hillary Clinton is “plotting to rig the election by getting more votes than I do,” Donald J. Trump warned his supporters on Friday.</div><div><br></div><div>Speaking at a rally, Trump detailed what he called Clinton’s “vast conspiracy” to accrue more votes than he does on Election Day.</div><div><br></div><div>“The media won’t tell you this, but Crooked Hillary is going around the country every single day, trying to get more votes than I do,” he said. “That’s how she’s going to rig it, folks.”</div><div><br></div><div>He called the current sexual-assault allegations against him “a plot by the Clintons to draw attention away from Hillary’s evil plot to get votes.”</div><div><br></div><div>“Is it just a coincidence that these accusations come up at the same time that Crooked Hillary is trying to rig the election by getting votes?” he said. “The way things are going, I would not be surprised at all if, on Election Day, she has many, many more votes than I do.”</div><div><br></div><div>“There’s something going on, folks,” he added.</div><div><br></div><div>But, in a sign that Trump does not intend to take Clinton’s scheme to get more votes lying down, he ended his remarks with an ominous threat. “If, on Election Day, Hillary Clinton has more votes than I do, I will sue everyone who voted for her,” he said.</div></div><div><br></div><div>--------------------------------<br><br><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"There's room at the top they are telling you still.</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">But first you must learn how to smile as you kill,</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">If you want to be like the folks on the hill."</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">- John Lennon</span></div></div></div></body></html>