<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div><span></span></div><div><div>Courtesy of the New Yorker at:</div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://tinyurl.com/Trump-Expands-Attacks" target="_blank" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">http://tinyurl.com/Trump-Expands-Attacks</a></div><div><br></div><div>--------------------------------</div><div><br></div><div><div><h1 class="title" itemprop="headline" style="border: 0px; margin: 5px 0px 2px; padding: 0px; -webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; text-rendering: geometricprecision; font-size: 38px; font-family: 'Irvin Heading', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; text-transform: uppercase; line-height: 1.1; letter-spacing: -0.05rem;">TRUMP EXPANDS ATTACKS TO INCLUDE GEORge Clinton</h1></div><div><br></div><div>YOUNGSTOWN, OHIO (The Borowitz Report)—Unveiling a strategy that some Republican insiders deemed unwise, Donald Trump on Tuesday unleashed a blistering attack on George Clinton.</div><div><br></div><div>In a furious tirade at a rally in Youngstown, Ohio, the Republican Presidential nominee seemed to take his audience by surprise by tearing into Clinton, the founder of the legendary funk ensembles known collectively as Parliament-Funkadelic.</div><div><br></div><div>“Anyone who is knocking me for my locker-room banter has never heard ‘Atomic Dog,’ ” Trump told his audience. “It’s disgusting.”</div><div><br></div><div>“If I went around saying, ‘Why must I feel like that, why must I chase the cat, it’s the dog in me,’ the media would kill me,” he added. </div><div><br></div><div>As many members of his audience shifted uncomfortably in their seats, Trump escalated his attack on Clinton by impugning the musician’s most celebrated asset: his funk.</div><div><br></div><div>“George Clinton says he has funk, but he has terrible funk,” he said. “I have better funk than he does.”</div><div><br></div><div>The billionaire continued his attacks later on Twitter, where he referred repeatedly to Clinton as “Unfunky George.”</div><div><br></div><div>On Capitol Hill, House Speaker Paul Ryan bemoaned the latest tactics of his party’s mercurial nominee. “At a time when he should be talking about jobs and terrorism, he’s saying, ‘Do the dogcatcher, baby, do the dogcatcher,’ ” Ryan said. “It’s counterproductive.”</div></div><div><br></div><div>--------------------------------<br><br><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div> </div></div></div></div></body></html>