<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div><span></span></div><div><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><div>Courtesy of the <i>New Yorker </i>at:</div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://tinyurl.com/Putin-Cancels-Event" target="_blank" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">http://tinyurl.com/Putin-Cancels-Event</a></div><div><br></div><div>--------------------------------</div><div><div><h1 class="title" itemprop="headline" style="border: 0px; margin: 5px 0px 2px; padding: 0px; -webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; text-rendering: geometricprecision; font-size: 38px; font-family: 'Irvin Heading', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-weight: normal; text-transform: uppercase; line-height: 1.1; letter-spacing: -0.05rem;">PUTIN CANCELS CAMPAIGN EVENT WITH TRUMP</h1></div><div><br></div><div>MOSCOW (The Borowitz Report)—Calling the Republican nominee’s behavior “completely indefensible,” the Russian President, Vladimir Putin, cancelled a joint campaign appearance with Donald Trump on Monday.</div><div><br></div><div>Putin, who had been scheduled to campaign alongside Trump at a rally in Columbus, Ohio, said that he would make no joint appearances with the billionaire for the remainder of the campaign.</div><div><br></div><div>“As the father of two daughters, I cannot condone or defend Mr. Trump’s behavior,” the Russian leader said in a curt official statement.</div><div><br></div><div>In addition to cancelling his appearance with Trump, Putin, who had been expected to spend thirty-one million rubles, or roughly five million dollars, on Trump campaign ads, is pulling those funds and will instead “focus on down-ballot races,” the statement said.</div><div><br></div><div>Appearing on CNN, Trump’s campaign manager, Kellyanne Conway, attempted to downplay the Putin defection by claiming that Trump still has the support of many other totalitarian dictators.</div></div><div><br></div><div>--------------------------------<br><br><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div> </div></div></div></div></body></html>