<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div></div><div><b style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"An American Trump" </b></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">From <i>A Child's First Book of Trump </i>by Michael Ian Black and Marc Rosenthal</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Dear reader, I know that you might be confused</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">After spotting this creature that's been in the news.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">What is this strange beast you keep hearing about?</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Together, I think we can figure it out . . .</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The beasty is called an American Trump.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It's skin is bright orange, it's figure is plump;</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Its fur so complex, you might get enveloped.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Its hands are, sadly, underdeveloped.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Now, where does it live? On flat-screen TVs!</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It rushes toward every camera it sees.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It thrives in the most contentious conditions</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">And excretes the most appalling emissions.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Its diet is cash, its friends all go-getters.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Its poop spells out "Trump" in ten-foot high letters.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Trump this and Trump that, and Trump buildings and steaks</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Trump airplanes and clothing and several Trump mates.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Trump crap everywhere in a Trumpy Trump land.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">But don't call it crap. The Trump calls it a brand.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Yes it can speak! Are you impressed?</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">You should be, because, a Trump's really the best.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It says so if asked, and even if not.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"I'm the best!" it declares in terms overwrought.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"I have all the best words and all the best things!</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">My water is bottled from all the best springs!</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">My wine is the best, and so is my brain.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">You wanna know why? Too bad! I'll explain."</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">(Here's where a Trump will go on at some length</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">On the size of its manhood and physical strength.)</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">When finally done with its speech, it will grin</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">And say, "Now I hope that you're ready to WIN!"</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">For winning is what a Trump loves to do best.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"We'll be winning so much, you might get depressed."</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"I've won each and every game that I've played.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Won every opinion I've ever conveyed.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Won every debate, no matter the topic.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I once had a tie - I felt philanthropic."</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Making a deal? It had no superior!</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Building a wall? The rest are inferior.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"My wall will be numero uno primero.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I'll pay for it using another's dinero."</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">And there is the crux of the Americus Trumpus:</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The swagger, the boasting, the over-sized rump-us.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Its bluster's exceeded by total flamboyance.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It even makes claims of having clairvoyance:</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"I KNEW this would happen!" it says aplenty.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Its hindsight is clocked at twenty and twenty.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">So, what should you do with a Trump running wild?</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The answer is all up to you, my dear child.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Run away screaming? Or maybe you fight it?</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Reason and logic will only incite it.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">You can cover your ears or run up a tree,</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">But the best thing to do is . . . turn off your TV.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">For all of the Trump's astounding uniqueness,</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It certainly has a mysterious weakness:</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">A Trump loves to dine on hatred and violence;</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It cannot endure a moment of silence.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It's true! A Trump needs all of our noise to exist.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Without chaos, it shrinks to a sad, orange disk.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">So, should you stumble upon one in the wood,</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I'm not sure what you'll do; I know what you should.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Don't respond to its brags, its taunts, or its jeers.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Ignoring a Trump is a Trump's biggest fear.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">But, if that plan fails and it keeps coming forth,</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">I hear there's an absence of Trumps in the North.</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">---------------------------------</span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div></div></body></html>