<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div><span></span></div><div><div>Courtesy of today's (April 15, 2015) Moscow-Pullman Daily News with a very special "Thank You" to Natalie Greenfield for stepping forward and speaking up.</div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><br></div><div id="AppleMailSignature">---------------------------------</div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><h1 id="blox-asset-title" style="font-size: 30px; outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; font-weight: 400; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 34px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;"><span class="blox-headline entry-title" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; color: rgb(204, 0, 0); line-height: 38px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Survivors: 'Listen to me'</span></h1><p class="sub-headline" style="font-size: 18px; outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 10px 0px 10px 20px; line-height: 24px; color: rgb(153, 153, 153); background-image: url(http://bloximages.newyork1.vip.townnews.com/dnews.com/content/tncms/live/components/core_base_library/resources/images/dingbat.gif); font-family: Arial, sans-serif; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; background-position: 0% 50%; background-repeat: no-repeat no-repeat;">Former Moscow resident speaks on her abuse, shaming that followed</p><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Natalie Greenfield, at the age of 13, met the man who would become her abuser while she was at a Christ Church function in Moscow.</span></p><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">For the seven months following that first meeting, the 23-year-old pastor-in-training was grooming her, building trust and friendship, she said.</span></p><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Then he moved in with us along with several other boarders," she said. "Within weeks of moving in he started sexually abusing me."</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Greenfield spoke Thursday night at the University of Idaho as the keynote speaker for sexual assault awareness month. She also sat down prior to her presentation for a one-on-one talk with the Daily News.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Greenfield, now 28, lived in an eight-bedroom, three-story home in Moscow with her parents and four siblings. It's typical for Christ Church families to house boarders from Greyfriar's seminary and New Saint Andrews College, she said.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">During the year and a half of abuse, Greenfield said she was "completely infatuated and obsessed with" her abuser. At that age, she said, she thought she was in love.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Greenfield said her abuser made sure she knew that everything was her fault, keeping her "right where he wanted," afraid to tell anyone what was happening.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"I didn't have any sex education," she said. "All I got was from this nasty guy."</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Her family's home was a "mecca" for church activities at the time and always buzzing with people, and there was an underlying sense of trust in those people, "whether or not it was merited," she said.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">By all outward appearances her abuser was handsome, charming, godly, personable and respectable, she said, but he was also sneaky.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Greenfield said he would oil the door hinges so they wouldn't squeak as he snuck into her bedroom at night, when the majority of the assaults happened. He also had rules for her, such as burning or flushing notes between them.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Because he was sneaky and in pastoral training, no one suspected the abuse was happening, she said. Near the end, Greenfield said, she believes her father got suspicious and he would even sit in the hallway outside her room some nights.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It wasn't until her father found her abuser hiding behind a bush in the yard and spying on her and a group of others inside the home that he was kicked out of the house, she said.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Greenfield said when the abuse ended she began to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, depression and an eating disorder.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Everything about that religion is all about guilt," she said. "I thought God was punishing me for these sins by that point I was really messed up."</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Greenfield kept the abuse to herself until just before she turned 18, when she told a friend who pushed her to tell her parents. Greenfield said she figured her parents would be upset, call the police, that there may be a trial and he would go to jail and be labeled a sex offender.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The result was quite different.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Greenfield said her parents called the police and her abuser was arrested, but "Christ Church fought for him tooth and nail." She alleges the church told her parents not to go to trial and church members wrote to the court on her abuser's behalf and brought her own character into question, she said.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"I didn't expect to be shamed," she said. "There were so many moments then where I wished I had suffered in silence."</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The case went to mediation and he was sentenced to one year in prison for one count of injury to a child. He served four months, and didn't have to register as a sex offender, she said.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"He got off scot-free," she said.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Greenfield said Christ Church sent clear messages they supported him, not her.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Trying to move forward, Greenfield said, she received none of the emotional, physical or psychological support she needed.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"So I left," she said. "I remember just sitting there thinking, 'what do I do now?' I just lost faith in humanity for a while."</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Christ Church also formally excommunicated her from the church, as well, she said.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It was during the time she also met her husband, Wesley Petersen.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"He was the first person to treat me with love and respect," she said.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The couple now has three children, two girls and one boy, with another son on the way. Right after giving birth to their second child she received a Facebook invite to the baptism of her abuser's child, she said.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Without even thinking, I wrote this whole blog post about it all," she said. "I got to the end and was like, 'I'm done staying silent.' "</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It was the first time Greenfield had publicly talked about her abuse.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"It was liberating enough that I kept doing it," she said. "Slowly but surely, every time I would it would be like this breath of release."</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Advocating for victims has now become somewhat of a full-time job, she said.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"I would have never pictured this, but it has become one of the most profound and beautiful things in my life," she said. "I do this because I know it is still happening in churches everywhere and for a fact in Christ Church."</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Greenfield said society does not have the option to look the other way.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"This isn't just a victim problem, it's all of our problem," she said.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Sharing stories and listening to others is important because it connects people to real victims and real attacks, she said.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">During her talk on campus she expressed the importance of compassionate listening, not only to benefit the community and awareness of the issue, but for the healing of those sharing their stories.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Greenfield said compassionate listening takes real effort, a choice, a kind heart and setting aside one's ego, she said. Just saying "sorry" or "it's time to move on" is patronizing and makes them feel more alone, she said.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Compassionate listening is something we can all apply in our lives right now," she said. "Anytime that somebody wants to be listened to or heard we can practice it."</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Greenfield said it is mutually beneficial to learn we are deeply connected to one another no matter how different our stories may be.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"It's much easier to form these ideas of how a victim should heal without actually talking to a victim. We need a lot of public education. Sexual abuse victims have a lot of PTSD," she said. "My abuse ended 14 years ago and I had a panic attack two weeks ago."</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It will always be a part of her story, she said.</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; line-height: 24px; background-image: none; float: none !important;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Two UI undergraduate students also shared their stories of abuse, both sexual and domestic, and their healing journeys Thursday during the talk, titled "Listen to me."</span></p></div><div class="encrypted-content" style="outline: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; float: none !important;"></div></div><div id="AppleMailSignature"><br></div><div id="AppleMailSignature">---------------------------------<br><br><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" </span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div> </div></div></div></body></html>