<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div><span></span></div><div><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><div><span></span></div><div><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><div>Courtesy of the New Yorker at:</div><div><br></div><div><b><a href="http://tinyurl.com/Carson-Googles-Syria" target="_blank" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">http://tinyurl.com/Carson-Googles-Syria</a></b></div><div><br></div><div>----------------------------------</div><div><div><h1 itemprop="name" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-family: ny-irvin-heading, 'Times New Roman', Times, Georgia, serif; font-size: 3rem; font-weight: inherit; line-height: 3.8rem; vertical-align: baseline; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Carson Announces Detailed Plan to Google Syria</h1></div><div><br></div><div>DES MOINES (The Borowitz Report)—In a major foreign-policy announcement on Wednesday, the Republican Presidential candidate Ben Carson unveiled a detailed plan to Google Syria.</div><div><br></div><div>Speaking in Iowa, the retired neurosurgeon told an audience of supporters, “Any responsible policy on Syria must begin with a fact-finding mission, and such a mission must begin with Googling.”</div></div><div><br></div><div><div>He said that “Google holds the key” to many questions about Syria. “Where is it? Who lives there? How many square miles is it? These are all things that have to be pinned down,” he said.</div><div><br></div><div>Carson, who leads several Republican Presidential polls, said that while his search for answers would start with Google, he would “not rule out” seeking information at Wikipedia and beyond. “No Web site should be taken off the table at this time,” he said.</div><div><br></div><div>In closing, he said that he had “no plans” to Google Egypt, since he was already extremely well versed in that nation’s history.</div></div><div>----------------------------------<br><br><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"There's room at the top they are telling you still.</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">But first you must learn how to smile as you kill,</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">If you want to be like the folks on the hill."</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">- John Lennon</span></div></div></div></div></div></body></html>