<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div><b>"Chris Christie, Presidential Candidate"</b> by Calvin Trillin</div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;"><br></span></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><span style="box-sizing: border-box; border: 0px; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">"When thinking now of poor Chris Christie,</span><br style="box-sizing: border-box;">My heart goes out. My eyes grow misty.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;">The White House door to him was shut,<br style="box-sizing: border-box;">’Twas said, unless he lost that gut.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;">So bariatric work was done.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;">He dropped some weight—though not a ton,<br style="box-sizing: border-box;">Enough at least so he could chase<br style="box-sizing: border-box;">That White House dream. He’s in the race.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;">But he’s got problems in his state,<br style="box-sizing: border-box;">And Bridgegate came to demonstrate<br style="box-sizing: border-box;">That some of Christie’s straight-talk luster<br style="box-sizing: border-box;">Was based on just a bully’s bluster.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;">So now, despite his smaller tum,<br style="box-sizing: border-box;">He’s near the bottom of the scrum.<br style="box-sizing: border-box;">What must, I’m thinking, make him frown<br style="box-sizing: border-box;">Is all the food that he turned down—<br style="box-sizing: border-box;">The sausage pizzas he rejected<br style="box-sizing: border-box;">So, slimmer, he could be elected,<br style="box-sizing: border-box;">The hamburgers he could have bought<br style="box-sizing: border-box;">But didn’t. Was that all for naught?<br style="box-sizing: border-box;">When thinking now of poor Chris Christie,<br style="box-sizing: border-box;">My heart goes out. My eyes grow misty.</span><font color="#111111" face="Mercury Display A, Mercury Display B"><span style="font-size: 20px; line-height: 32px; -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);">"</span></font></div><div>-------------------------------------<br><br><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div> </div></div></body></html>