<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=us-ascii"></head><body dir="auto"><div><span></span></div><div><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"><div><p style="margin: 0px 0px 6px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><b>"How the Grinch Stole Marriage" </b>read by Blake Williams (with apologies to Dr. Seuss)<br><a href="http://l.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.maryannhorton.com%2FHowtheGrinchStoleMarraige.mp3&h=6AQH6WjzM&enc=AZMGvZoFDLj-XAMhZb48lboMMj49DBAosN546mot_gmcWl4GfpIS3wFoao1wSss1R-lOz1NBO5BkhMUV3lJC5KXK6vWzCPz9tKmhgSPPjF8xIw4Fl8rgmjaCeh7ur0oGHw15m-o4oAMvG98Vq7raf--w&s=1" target="_blank" rel="nofollow" style="cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;">http://www.maryannhorton.com/HowtheGrinchStoleMarraige.mp3</a></span></p><p style="margin: 6px 0px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></p><p style="margin: 6px 0px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Every Gay down in Gayville liked Gay Marriage a lot......<br>But the Grinch, who lived just east of Gayville, did NOT!!</span></p><p style="margin: 6px 0px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">The Grinch hated happy Gays! The whole Marriage season!<br>Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.<br>It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.<br>It could be, perhaps, his Florsheims were too tight.<br>But I think the most likely reason of all was<br>His heart and brain were two sizes too small.</span></p><p style="margin: 6px 0px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"And they're buying their tuxes!" he snarled with a sneer,<br>"Tomorrow's the first Gay Wedding! It's practically here!"<br>Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,<br>"I MUST find some way to stop Gay Marriage from coming!"</span></p><p style="margin: 6px 0px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">For, tomorrow, he knew... All the Gay girls and boys<br>would wake bright and early. They'd rush for their vows!<br>And then! Oh, the Joys! Oh, the Joys!</span></p><p style="margin: 6px 0px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">And THEN they'd do something he liked least of all!<br>Every Gay down in Gayville the tall and the small,<br>would stand close together, all happy and blissing.<br>They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Gays would start kissing!</span></p><p style="margin: 6px 0px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"I MUST stop Gay Marriage from coming! ...But HOW?"</span></p><p style="margin: 6px 0px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Then he got an idea! An awful idea!<br>THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!</span></p><p style="margin: 6px 0px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"I know what to do!" The Grinch laughed in his throat.<br>And he went to his closet, grabbed his sheet and his hood.<br>And he chuckled, and clucked, with a great Grinchy word!<br>"With this beard and this cross, I look just like our Lord!"</span></p><p style="margin: 6px 0px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"All I need is a Scripture..." The Grinch looked around.<br>But, true Scripture is scarce, there was none to be found.<br>Did that stop the old Grinch...? No! The Grinch simply said,<br>"With no Scripture on Marriage, I'll fake one instead!"<br>"It's one man and one woman," the Grinch falsely said.</span></p><p style="margin: 6px 0px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Then he broke in the courthouse. A rather tight pinch.<br>But, if Georgie could do it, then so could the Grinch.<br>The little Gay benefits hung in a row.<br>"These bennies," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"</span></p><p style="margin: 6px 0px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most uncanny,<br>around the whole room, and he took every benny!<br>Health care for partners! Doctors for kiddies!<br>Tax rights! Adoptions! Pensions and Wills!<br>And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, with a chill,<br>Stuffed all the bags, one by one, in his bill.</span></p><p style="margin: 6px 0px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Then he slunk to the kitchen, and stole Wedding Cake.<br>He cleaned out that icebox and made it look straight.<br>He took the Gay-bar keys! He took the Gay Flag.<br>Why, that Grinch even took their last Gay birdseed bag!</span></p><p style="margin: 6px 0px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, "I will pocket their Rings."<br>And the Grinch grabbed the Rings, and he started to shove<br>when he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.<br>He turned around fast, and off flew his hood.<br>Little Lisa-Bi Gay behind him sadly stood.<br>The Grinch had been caught by small Lisa-Bi.<br>She stared at the Grinch and said, "My, oh, my, why?"<br>"Why are you taking our Wedding Rings? WHY?"</span></p><p style="margin: 6px 0px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick<br>He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!<br>"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Shepherd sneered,<br>"The judges are evil, the other states weird."<br>"I'll fix the rings there and I'll bring them back here."</span></p><p style="margin: 6px 0px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">It was quarter past dawn... All the Gays, still a-bed,<br>all the Gays still a-snooze when he packed up and fled.<br>"Pooh-Pooh to the Gays!" he was grinch-ish-ly humming.<br>"They're finding out now no Gay Marriage is coming!"<br>"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two<br>then the Gays down in Gayville will all cry Boo-Hoo!"</span></p><p style="margin: 6px 0px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">He stared down at Gayville! The Grinch popped his eyes!<br>Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!<br>Every Gay down in Gayville, the tall and the small,<br>was kissing! Without any bennies at all!<br>He HADN'T stopped Marriage from coming! IT CAME!<br>Somehow or other, it came just the same!</span></p><p style="margin: 6px 0px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,<br>stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"<br>"It came without lawyers, no papers to sort!"<br>"It came without licenses, came without courts!"<br>And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.<br>Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!</span></p><p style="margin: 6px 0px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Maybe Marriage," he thought, "doesn't come from the court.<br>Maybe Marriage...perhaps... comes right from the heart.<br>Maybe Marriage comes from all the words the Gays say.<br>Words like Husband, like Wedding, and Spouse who is Gay."<br>And what happened then...? Well...in Gayville they say<br>that the Grinch's small brain grew three sizes that day!</span></p><p style="margin: 6px 0px;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">And the Gays had their Weddings. They promised for life.<br>They swore to be faithful, to Wife and her Wife.<br>The Husbands were happy, to each other they vowed<br>To be Out and be Honest, be Gay and be Proud.<br>They told all their neighbors and friends of their Spouse,<br>They told of their Marriage and sharing their house.<br>They said "We got Married." They shouted it loud.<br>Their marital status was "Married and Proud."</span></p><p style="margin: 6px 0px 0px; display: inline; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,<br>He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light.<br>And he brought back the rings, cake and Gay birdseed bags!<br>And he... ...HE HIMSELF... hung the Gay Rainbow Flag!<br>...<br>The Lord looked down, at the proud and the tall,<br>and said "These are my children, and I love them all."</p></div><div><br></div><div><img src="cid:78E01023-E98B-4CED-8A59-25055CB06451" alt="image1.jpeg" id="78E01023-E98B-4CED-8A59-25055CB06451"><br><br><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div><br></div></div></div></body></html>