<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div>It's better (funnier) than the Onion.<br><br><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div><div><a href="http://www.moscowcares.com/" style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><font color="#000000">http://www.MoscowCares.com</font></a></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div><div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"There's room at the top they are telling you still.</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">But first you must learn how to smile as you kill,</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">If you want to be like the folks on the hill."</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">- John Lennon</span></div><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div></div><div><br>On Mar 12, 2014, at 5:33 PM, lfalen <<a href="mailto:lfalen@turbonet.com">lfalen@turbonet.com</a>> wrote:<br><br></div><blockquote type="cite"><div>
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<div class="iw_mail" dir="ltr"> <p>I am not familiar with the Borowitz Report. Is it comparable to The Onion?</p>
<p>Roger<br></p>
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<hr size="1">-----Original Message-----<br>From: "Tom Hansen" <<a href="mailto:thansen@moscow.com">thansen@moscow.com</a>><br>To: "Moscow Vision 2020" <<a href="mailto:vision2020@moscow.com">vision2020@moscow.com</a>><br>Date: 03/12/14 08:54<br>Subject: [Vision2020] GOP race turns ugly as Paul head-butts Cruz<br><br><div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"></div>
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<div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Courtesy of the Borowitz Report at:</div>
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<div><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"><a href="http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2014/03/gop-race-turns-ugly-as-paul-head-butts-cruz.html?utm_source=tny&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=borowitz&mbid=nl_Borowitz%20(47)">http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2014/03/gop-race-turns-ugly-as-paul-head-butts-cruz.html?utm_source=tny&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=borowitz&mbid=nl_Borowitz%20(47)</a></span></div>
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<div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;"> <h1 class="entry-title" style="margin: 0px 0px 4px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; border: 0px currentColor; border-image: none; text-transform: uppercase; line-height: 18px; font-family: neutra-2-text-n7, neutra-2-text-1; font-size: 18px; background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">G.O.P. RACE TURNS UGLY AS PAUL HEAD-BUTTS CRUZ</h1>
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<p style="margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; border: 0px currentColor; border-image: none;"><paul-cruz-580.jpg></p>
<p style="margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; border: 0px currentColor; border-image: none;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)-In a preview of what promises to be a heated race for the Republican Presidential nomination in 2016, Sen. Rand Paul (R-Kentucky) head-butted his rival Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) on the floor of the United States Senate this morning.</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; border: 0px currentColor; border-image: none;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">The melee "came without warning," one observer said, as Sen. Paul took to the well of the Senate to give a speech recommending a strong but measured response to the crisis in Ukraine.</span></p>
<div id="entry-more" style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; border: 0px currentColor; border-image: none;"> <p style="margin: 10px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; border: 0px currentColor; border-image: none;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Almost immediately, a furious and beet-red Sen. Cruz began heckling Sen. Paul, calling him a "Kentucky-fried Communist" and demanding that he "apologize to Ronald Reagan this very instant."</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; border: 0px currentColor; border-image: none;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Sen. Paul seemed to ignore the heckling at first, but as Sen. Cruz's taunts descended into a stream of profane name-calling, the Kentuckian leapt from the well of the Senate and began throttling Sen. Cruz before administering the decisive head-butt.</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; border: 0px currentColor; border-image: none;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">"Shut up, you bastard!" Sen. Paul reportedly shouted during the brawl. "Shut up, or I'll make you shut up!"</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; border: 0px currentColor; border-image: none;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">A group of horrified senators-including Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.), Sen. Patrick Leahy (D-Vermont), and Sen. Kelly Ayotte (R-N.H.)-pulled the two men apart, aided by a C.I.A. agent who had been monitoring the Senate's activities at the time.</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; border: 0px currentColor; border-image: none;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Within moments, the free-for-all was over, but not before more fists were thrown and a gash was opened over Sen. Cruz's left eye.</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; border: 0px currentColor; border-image: none;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">In the aftermath of the skirmish, Sen. Paul seemed pleased with the outcome. "Sen. Cruz and I may not always agree, but we're both passionate about our views," he said. "This kind of debate is healthy for the Republican Party."</span></p>
<p style="margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; border: 0px currentColor; border-image: none;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); -webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">Under the rules of the Senate, head-butting another senator results in a mandatory suspension of seven days, experts said.</span></p> </div> </div>
<div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto;">-----------------------------------<br><br><div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .</span></div>
<div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div>
<div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</span></div>
<div><a style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);" href="http://www.moscowcares.com/"><font color="#000000"></font></a><font color="#000000"><a href="http://www.MoscowCares.com">http://www.MoscowCares.com</a></font></div>
<div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div>
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<div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Tom Hansen</span></div>
<div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Moscow, Idaho</span></div> </div>
<div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div>
<div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"There's room at the top they are telling you still.</span></div>
<div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">But first you must learn how to smile as you kill,</span></div>
<div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">If you want to be like the folks on the hill."</span></div>
<div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></span></div>
<div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">- John Lennon</span></div>
<div><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"> </span></div> </div> </div> </div>
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