<div dir="ltr"><div style="line-height:16px;font-size:16px;overflow:visible;font-family:Helvetica,sans-serif;margin:0px;list-style:none;border:0px;padding:0px"><h1 style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 10px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible;color:rgb(17,17,17);line-height:36px;font-family:Georgia,Century,Times,serif;font-size:30px!important">
Hi Tucker: Here's one right back at Ya!</h1><h1 style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 10px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible;color:rgb(17,17,17);line-height:36px;font-family:Georgia,Century,Times,serif;font-size:30px!important">
Red States Want to Secede? Go Ahead. Make Our Day.</h1><div style="list-style:none;margin:0px;padding:15px 0px 0px;border:0px;overflow:visible"><span style="list-style:none;margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible;font-size:12px;font-family:Arial">Posted: 12/05/2012 5:04 pm <i>The Huffington Post</i></span></div>
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<div style="list-style:none;margin:0px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible"><p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible"><span style="font-size:15px">So some of you patriotic Americans in Red States are so mad that a Kenyan, Muslim, socialist black man got elected President of the USA for a second time that you want to demonstrate your patriotism by seceding from the United States of American? Go ahead. Make our day.</span><br>
</p><p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">But be careful what you wish for. Here's how it could go down, and it might be so pretty for you after all is said and done.</p>
<p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.</p><p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">
You get backwoods crystal meth labs.</p><p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">We get Intel, Microsoft and Apple. You get WorldCom.</p><p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.</p><p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to pay your fair share for once.</p><p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">
Speaking of all those federal taxes you love to hate. Most of it comes <span style="font-size:15px">from us and goes to you. So stop talking nonsense about how "It's our money, not the government's money". Of the 19 states that send more money to Washington than they get back in benefits, 14 are Blue. And of 31 states that get more money back from the Feds than they pay in taxes, 23 are Red. It's not your money. It's our f**cking money. So from here on out, you can pay for your own damn roads and bridges.</span></p>
<p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate? It's Taxachusetts, the first state to recognize gay marriage. Think that's some aberration? How about this? 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are in the Blue states. And where are the highest divorce rates? 10 of the top 10 are Red.</p>
<p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">But gay people getting married is going to ruin the family for you? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own.</p><p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">
So we get a bunch of happy families, straight and gay. You get a bunch of single moms and deadbeat dads.</p><p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines (you can serve Texas wines at state dinners) 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech, UC Berkeley, and MIT.</p>
<p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">With the Red States you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92 percent of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, and Bob Jones University.</p>
<p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible"><span style="font-size:15px">We would get the West Coast, all of the Northeast and the upper Midwest.</span><br></p><p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">
You would get Texas, Oklahoma and all the former slave states.</p><p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">We would keep Hawaii too, the foreign country with warm water and beautiful beaches where Barack Hussein Obama was born without a birth certificate.</p>
<p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">You can have Alaska and stare at Russia from your front porches.</p><p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">
To be fair, we may have to split up some states.</p><p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">You get North Florida. We get South Florida. After all, what would you want with all those gay people in South Beach and old Jews in Miami?</p>
<p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">We get North Virginia. You get South Virginia. To be fair, we'll let you keep the University of Virginia. Go Cavaliers! Plus you need at least one place to educate some leaders who believe in science.</p>
<p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">But Austin, Atlanta and New Orleans get to be their own Blue city/states, sort of like West Berlin before the Wall came down. We'll even pay to move the capital of Texas from Austin to W's hometown of Midland, where as one native recently put it, "There used to be one Democrat in town, but I think she died".</p>
<p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">We might even merge with Canada. That way we get single-payer healthcare, solvent banks, the Royal Canadian Mounties, and Ryan Gosling (eat your hearts our Red-nation women).</p>
<p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">To sum up briefly:</p><p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">We get Bruce Springsteen, Jay Z and Beyonce. You get Ted Nugent and Meatloaf.</p>
<p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">Plus Willie Nelson gets to park his bus anywhere he likes in the Blue America.</p><p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">
We get Elizabeth Warren. You get Todd Aiken. (Hey, we'll even keep Chris Christie. He's too large to move, anyway.)</p><p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand.</p>
<p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">We get the New York Philharmonic. You get the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.</p><p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">
We get Oprah. You get Paula Deen.</p><p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">And Blue America will have an easy repatriation policy for the ancestors of slaves still stuck in the former Confederate states, as well as a path to citizenship for undocumented workers and their children from both Red and Blue America who have worked hard/studied hard and put down roots. We'll even have a 21st century version of "40 acres and a mule" with education, job training and work at a fair wage for those who need it. (But here's a warning: good luck getting your crops picked, your kids asses wiped, and your pools cleaned without a bunch of low-paid undocumented workers.)</p>
<p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">Any Red-nation NBA team that wants to gets to move to a Blue state city without its own team. Hey, how about them World Champion Pittsburgh Thunder?</p>
<p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">And the New York Jets will send you back Tim Tebow for a player to be named later. [update to 2013: We now want 10 players in return for "Drop to Your Knees" Tim.]</p>
<p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible">So, as we said at the start. You want to secede? Go ahead. Make our Day. But be careful what you wish for. You might not be so happy if you actually got it. If you ask nicely, we might even take you back.</p>
<div><br></div><p style="list-style:none;margin:0px 0px 15px;padding:0px;border:0px;overflow:visible"><br></p>
</div></div><div class="gmail_extra"><br><br><div class="gmail_quote">On Wed, Oct 23, 2013 at 4:47 PM, Tucker Goodwin <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:tuckman8822@yahoo.com" target="_blank">tuckman8822@yahoo.com</a>></span> wrote:<br>
<blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0px 0px 0px 0.8ex;border-left-width:1px;border-left-color:rgb(204,204,204);border-left-style:solid;padding-left:1ex"><div><div style="font-size:12pt;font-family:HelveticaNeue,'Helvetica Neue',Helvetica,Arial,'Lucida Grande',sans-serif">
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</font></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 0pt"><b><span style="font-family:'Comic Sans MS'">FREEDOM
IS </span></b><b><span style="color:rgb(54,96,146);font-family:'Comic Sans MS'">NOT
FREE........</span></b><u></u><u></u></div><div><font face="Times New Roman">
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</font><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0in 0in 0pt"><span style="color:rgb(0,112,192);font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:26pt">Since we are not going to get gasoline back to $1.50 per
gallon and coffee to $2.00 per pound maybe this would be a solution we could
live with. </span><span style="font-size:26pt;font-family:Arial,sans-serif"><br>
<br>
</span><span style="color:rgb(192,0,0);font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:26pt">DIVORCE AGREEMENT</span><span style="color:rgb(0,112,192);font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:26pt"> -- This is so incredibly
well-put, and I can hardly believe it's by a young person, a student!!
Whatever he runs for, I'll vote for him!</span><span style="font-size:26pt;font-family:Arial,sans-serif"><br>
</span><span style="color:rgb(192,0,0);font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:26pt">* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
* * * * * *</span><span style="font-size:26pt;font-family:Arial,sans-serif"><br>
<br>
<br>
Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,
regressive, Marxists, and Obama supporters, et. al.: <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
We have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids, but the
whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a
divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future
generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course. <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what
is right for us all, so let's just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and
chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way. <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
Here is a model separation agreement: <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
1. Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass, each
taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our
two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be
relatively easy. Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other
assets since both sides had such distinct and disparate tastes. <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
2. We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them. <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
3. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU. <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
4. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA,
and the military. <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
5. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar,
and bio-diesel. <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
6. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however,
responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of
them. <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
7. We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies,
Wal-Mart, and Wall Street. <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
8. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless
homeboys, hippies, druggies, and illegal aliens. <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
9. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
10. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood . <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
11. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to
invade and hammer places that threaten us. <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
12. You can have the peace-niks and war protesters. When our allies or our
way of life are under assault, we'll help provide them security.<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
13. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values. <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
14. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness,
and Shirley McLain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be
paying the bill. <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
15. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can
take every Subaru station wagon you can find. <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
16. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors..
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
17. We'll continue to believe healthcare is an earned luxury and not a right.
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
18. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and "The
National Anthem." <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
19. I'm sure you'll be happy to substitute "Imagine", "I'd
Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya," or "We Are
the World". <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
20. We'll practice trickledown economics and you can continue to give trickle
up poverty your best shot. <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
21. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our
constitution and our flag. <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
22. Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded
liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete.
In the spirit of friendly parting, I'll bet you answer which one of us will
need whose help in 15 years. <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
Sincerely, <br>
<br>
<br>
John J. Wall <br>
<br>
<br>
Law Student and an American <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
P.S.: Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara
Streisand, and Jane Fonda with you. <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
P.S.S..: And you won't have to "Press 1 for English" when you call
our country. <br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
Forward this every time you get it! Let's keep this going; maybe some of it
will start sinking in! <br>
<br>
</span><span style="color:rgb(0,112,192);font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:26pt">**</span><span style="color:rgb(192,0,0);font-family:Arial,sans-serif;font-size:26pt">If you can't stand behind our Military, Please feel free to
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