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<div class="">May 29, 2013</div>
<h1>Michele, Here’s the Bell</h1>
<h6 class="">By
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<a href="http://topics.nytimes.com/top/opinion/editorialsandoped/oped/columnists/gailcollins/index.html" rel="author" title="More Articles by GAIL COLLINS"><span>GAIL COLLINS</span></a></span></h6>
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<p>
If Michele Bachmann leaves Congress, does that mean the end of the Light
Bulb Freedom of Choice Act? That was pretty much my favorite Michele
Bachmann piece of legislation. </p>
<p>
“President Bachmann will allow you to buy any light bulb you want,” she
had vowed during her campaign for the 2012 Republican nomination. Nobody
got into the issue of repressive lighting efficiency standards in quite
the same way. </p>
<p>
That presidential race was pretty much the peak of Bachmann’s career.
Remember her high point, when she swept to victory in the Iowa straw
poll? Which was followed by the low point of coming in sixth in the
actual Iowa caucuses. And calls for the abolition of future straw polls.
</p>
<p>
Now it’s all over, apparently. On Wednesday, while touring Russia and unavailable for comment, <a title="The video on YouTube" href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-nV4AGV50I&list=UUoSBDMdSyQVQHKH5PBw-69Q&index=1">Bachmann released a video</a> announcing that she would not run for re-election in 2014. </p>
<p>
“I will continue to work vehemently and robustly to fight back against
what most in the other party want to do, to transform our country into
becoming. Which would be a nation that our founders would hardly even
recognize today,” Bachmann told the nation. As only she could. </p>
<p>
Her announcement had a strange, perky quality that drew instant
comparisons to airline safety videos. Although it went on for more than
eight minutes, Bachmann was vague about several critical points, such as
why she was quitting. She was far more specific about what was <em>not</em>
propelling her out. Definitely not the fact that the guy who nearly
beat her last time around has announced that he is running again. And
totally for sure not reports that the F.B.I. is investigating her
campaign finances. </p>
<p>
“My future is full, it is limitless, and my passions for America will
remain,” she said over cheery background music. She could very easily
have been telling us that in case of loss of cabin pressure, we should
put on our own oxygen mask before aiding other passengers. </p>
<p>
So farewell to Michele Bachmann, a politician who had a great faith in
average folks — readily quoting their opinions to the nation as if the
information had just emerged from the labs of M.I.T. A woman at a debate
complained that a vaccine against H.P.V. caused mental retardation, and
Bachmann instantly announced the news on network TV. Ditto with the
inside scoop from a Japanese man who assured her that in his home
country, people who criticize the government aren’t allowed to get
health care. </p>
<p>
In honor of her departure, Michele-watchers around the country rolled
out their favorite Bachmann quotes. Mine was her contention that the
theory of evolution was disputed by “hundreds and hundreds of
scientists, many of them holding Nobel Prizes.” </p>
<p>
We may not see her like again. Or, if one shows up, we may decide not to pay attention. </p>
<p>
A long-running adieu (she’s not really going away until the end of 2014)
to a woman who worships the founding fathers — who, she once informed a
Republican crowd, started off the Revolution with a shot “heard round
the world” in New Hampshire. Patriots like Washington, Jefferson and
Madison, who would never have wanted to live in an America where there
were census forms or high-protein cafeteria meals. (“Where in the
#Constitution does it say the fed. government should regulate potatoes
in school lunches?” she Twittered.) </p>
<p>
The most interesting question about Bachmann is how she and Sarah Palin
came to be the two most high-profile women in the Tea Party. Neither one
has ever had a real political organization. Palin didn’t like being
governor enough to finish the term. Bachmann has been a terrible
legislator. Women in Congress tend to be good at working with others.
Michele Bachmann is good at talking on her cellphone during meetings.
</p>
<p>
They certainly have intense personalities. But you have to wonder if the
secret is that, by political standards, they both look extremely hot.
And if it’s their appearance that made them such stars, is that for the
benefit of the Tea Party men or the Tea Party women? Ronnee Schreiber, a
professor at San Diego State University, who studies gender and
politics, says the women in the grass-roots Tea Party she’s interviewed
kept focusing on how the pair “looked so feminine and dressed so
ladylike.” </p>
<p>
Whatever Bachmann’s secret, it isn’t really working anymore. Her career
jumped the shark when she and a few colleagues demanded that one of
Hillary Clinton’s top aides be investigated as a possible Muslim
extremist trying to infiltrate the government. The aide, Huma Abedin, is
married to former Congressman Anthony Weiner, and I think I speak for
the entire country when I say the poor woman has enough problems to deal
with in the real world. </p>
<p>
Meanwhile, the Tea Party caucus Bachmann founded in the House has lost
its traction. In the Senate, right-wing newcomers like Rand Paul and Ted
Cruz have captured the limelight from the congresswoman from Minnesota
who once won the Iowa straw poll. </p>
<p>
And sponsored the Light Bulb Freedom of Choice Act. Can’t forget about that. </p>
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<br clear="all"><br>-- <br>Art Deco (Wayne A. Fox)<br><a href="mailto:art.deco.studios@gmail.com" target="_blank">art.deco.studios@gmail.com</a><br><br><img src="http://users.moscow.com/waf/WP%20Fox%2001.jpg"><br>
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