<html><head><meta http-equiv="content-type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8"></head><body dir="auto"><div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; ">Courtesy of the New Yorker at:</div><div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; "><br></div><div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; "><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; white-space: nowrap; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-text-size-adjust: none; "><a href="http://tinyurl.com/bz7w2st">http://tinyurl.com/bz7w2st</a></span></div><div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; "><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; white-space: nowrap; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); -webkit-text-size-adjust: none; "> </span></div><div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; ">-------------------------------------</div><div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; "><br></div><div><p style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; "><h1 class="entry-title" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 4px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; "><font size="3"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">REPUBLICANS AGREE TO STOP USING WORD “SCANDAL” IN EVERY SENTENCE IF OBAMA RESIGNS</span></font></h1></p><p style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; "><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">WASHINGTON (<a href="http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/" style="outline: 0px; ">The Borowitz Report</a>)—Arguing that the American people are sick and tired of hearing the word “scandal,” a growing chorus of Republican lawmakers said they would stop using the word “scandal” in every sentence if President Obama resigns from office immediately.</span></p><p style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; "><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">“Mr. President, for the past week, the American people have heard nothing but scandal,” said Rep. Darrell Issa (R-California). “Scandal, scandal, scandal, and more scandal.” “You have called for investigations to get to the bottom of these scandals,” he added. “But the American thing to do is to quit.”</span></p><div id="entry-more" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; "><p style="border: 0px; margin: 10px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; "><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Agreeing that America was suffering from “scandal fatigue,” Sen. Lindsey Graham (R.-S. Carolina) said, “If even one of these scandals turns out to be real, it will be bigger than the creation of the universe,” adding that he and his fellow Republican senators were prepared to take turns standing in the well of the Senate chanting the word “scandal” until President Obama steps down.</span></p><p style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; "><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">“Rand Paul has personally offered to say the word ‘scandal’ for eleven hours,” he said.</span></p><p style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; "><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">On Fox News Channel, host Sean Hannity said that the American people were weary of hearing “nothing but scandal, scandal, scandal,” noting that Fox personalities had used the word “scandal” no fewer than thirty thousand times in the past four days.</span></p><p style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; "><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">“The only way President Obama can bring these scandals to a satisfying resolution is by resigning from office. Otherwise, he’s subjecting the American people to the ugly spectacle of scandal upon scandal upon scandal,” he said, adding, “Upon scandal.”</span></p></div></div><div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; ">-------------------------------------</div><div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; "><br></div><div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; ">Sidebar: Before any of you accuse me of posting this article as unfounded scuttlebutt . . .</div><div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; "><br></div><div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; ">It originated from the EFFING Borowitz Report for Christ's sake. IT'S A JOKE, ok?</div><div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; "><br></div><div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; ">Now smile, Mr. Harkins. There ya go. That's the spirit. Now, dontcha feel a lit better?<br><br><div>Seeya at the Wingding, Moscow, because . . .</div><div><br></div><div>"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)</div><div><a href="http://www.MoscowCares.com">http://www.MoscowCares.com</a></div><div> </div><div><div>Tom Hansen</div><div>Moscow, Idaho</div><div><br></div><div>"<span style="font-size: medium; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">There's room at the top they are telling you still</span><span style="font-size: medium; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "> </span></div><span style="font-size: medium; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">But first you must learn how to smile as you kill </span><br style="font-size: medium; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><span style="font-size: medium; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">If you want to be like the folks on the hill."</span></div><div><font size="3"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469);"><br></span></font></div><div><font size="3"><span style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469);">- John Lennon<br></span></font><div> </div></div><div><br></div></div></body></html>