<html><body><div style="color:#000; background-color:#fff; font-family:arial, helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:10pt"><div><div class="published" title="2013-02-13T15:54:26" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 15px;"><div class="published" title="2013-02-13T15:54:26" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px;">February 13, 2013</div><h1 class="entry-title" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 4px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 18px; text-transform: uppercase; font-family: neutra-2-text-n7, neutra-2-text-1; line-height: 18px;">A LETTER FROM KIM JONG-UN</h1><div class="byline" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px;">Posted by <cite class="vcard author"><a href="http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/bios/andy_borowitz/search?contributorName=Andy%20Borowitz" title="search site for content by Andy Borowitz" rel="author" style="color:
rgb(0, 0, 0); text-decoration: initial; outline: 0px;">Andy </a>Borowitz</cite></div><div class="entry-content" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px 0px 10px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px; font-size: 16px; float: left; width: 2032px; line-height: 25px;"><article><div style="border: 0px; margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px;">PYONGYANG (<a href="http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); outline: 0px;">The Borowitz Report)</a>—Kim Jong-un, Supreme Leader of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea, has issued the</div><div style="border: 0px; margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px;"> following letter to the citizens of the world:<br></div><div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px;">Dear World People:</div><div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px;">For decades, North Korea was threatened by
hostile foes with nuclear weapons. With our safety constantly at risk from violent intruders, </div><div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px;">we asked: How can we possibly defend ourselves? In the immortal words of my dad, the glorious Kim Jong-il: “The only thing that stops a bad guy with a nuke</div><div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px;"> is a good guy with a nuke.”</div><div id="entry-more" style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px; outline: 0px;"><div style="border: 0px; margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px;">I sleep safely at night knowing that a loaded nuclear silo is as close as the launch button on my nightstand. And now I understand what Dad, in his genius,</div><div style="border: 0px; margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px;"> instinctively knew: that the world will not be truly safe until every nation
has nuclear weapons.</div><div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px;">Perhaps because these weapons are so necessary to our defense, the U.S. government, with its lapdogs at the United Nations, is plotting to take them </div><div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px;">away from us. But as Dad used to say, “When they come for our nukes….”</div><div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px;">That is why today I am founding the Nuclear Retaliation Association to defend the sovereign right of every nation on the planet to engulf that planet</div><div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px;"> in a hellish inferno. If you join today, we will waive the initiation fee and send you this bumper sticker: “Nuclear weapons don’t kill people.</div><div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px;"> People
kill people who don’t have nuclear weapons.”</div><div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px;">Peace out,</div><div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px;">Kim Jong-un</div><div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px;"><em><a href="https://secure.newyorker.com/services/newsletters/demographics" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); outline: 0px;">Get the Borowitz Report delivered to your inbox</a>.</em></div><div style="border: 0px; margin-bottom: 1em; padding: 0px; outline: 0px;"><br></div></div></article></div><br><br>Read more: <a href="http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/02/a-letter-from-kim-jong-un.html#ixzz2Kormm3Xb" style="color: rgb(0, 51, 153); text-decoration: initial; outline: 0px;">http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/02/a-letter-from-kim-jong-un.html#ixzz2Kormm3Xb</a><br></div></div></div></body></html>