Donovan,<br><br>I wish you the best in finding an exciting, yet comfortable, stable LTR.<br><br>w.<br><br><div class="gmail_quote">On Thu, Jul 19, 2012 at 6:44 PM, Donovan Arnold <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:donovanjarnold2005@yahoo.com" target="_blank">donovanjarnold2005@yahoo.com</a>></span> wrote:<br>
<blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="margin:0 0 0 .8ex;border-left:1px #ccc solid;padding-left:1ex"><div><div style="font-size:10pt;font-family:tahoma,new york,times,serif"><div><span>Thanks, Joe!</span></div>
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<div><span>I love the topic of free will too. I wrote a paper in my Logic and Critical Thinking class about free will. It was my <span><span>favorite</span></span> paper up to that point in college. I contended that free will was an <span><span>illusion</span></span> of sorts, and that we only thought we had free will. I proposed that all of our decisions were based on our genetics, past experiences, and the options we are given at that moment. I went through the "decision making process" and pointed out along the way how what we really thought was a choice of free will, was a choice made for us. The paper left a lot to be desired, by I enjoyed it for a <span><span>sophomore</span></span> in college project, and the professor gave me an A. I do think we have some free will depending on how we would define it,
I just don't think we use it very often and many things we think are free will, are actually things we do for reasons other then we believe we do them. </span></div>
<div><span></span> </div>
<div><span>Donovan J. Arnold</span></div>
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</div><b><span style="FONT-WEIGHT:bold">From:</span></b> Joe Campbell <<a href="mailto:philosopher.joe@gmail.com" target="_blank">philosopher.joe@gmail.com</a>><br><b><span style="FONT-WEIGHT:bold">To:</span></b> Donovan Arnold <<a href="mailto:donovanjarnold2005@yahoo.com" target="_blank">donovanjarnold2005@yahoo.com</a>> <br>
<b><span style="FONT-WEIGHT:bold">Cc:</span></b> Scott Dredge <<a href="mailto:scooterd408@hotmail.com" target="_blank">scooterd408@hotmail.com</a>>; viz <<a href="mailto:vision2020@moscow.com" target="_blank">vision2020@moscow.com</a>> <br>
<b><span style="FONT-WEIGHT:bold">Sent:</span></b> Thursday, July 19, 2012 4:56 PM<div><div class="h5"><br><b><span style="FONT-WEIGHT:bold">Subject:</span></b> Re: [Vision2020] Ques. For you: What is Most Important in a Relationship?<br>
</div></div></font></div><div><div class="h5"><br>Another great post, Donovan! And you nail it on the head when you
say<br>that you can't be in a relationship without changing someone. This<br>gets to the heart of my favorite topic: the problem of free will and<br>determinism.<br><br>Can you be determined to change and still change freely? That is the<br>
question. There is always influence. Is the influence in accordance<br>with your will (something about which you were in control, and could<br>have refused if you had wanted to) or against it (forced upon you, you<br>were hypnotized, you were asleep, etc.)?<br>
<br>I'm not saying that's the only question; I'm just fixated on free will. Joe<br><br>On Thu, Jul 19, 2012 at 3:29 PM, Donovan Arnold<br><<a href="mailto:donovanjarnold2005@yahoo.com" target="_blank">donovanjarnold2005@yahoo.com</a>> wrote:<br>
> Joe, Chas, and Scott,<br>><br>> Thanks for your input, it is very insightful and does help me. I am pretty<br>> much in grammar school when it comes to close personal
relationships. Joe, I<br>> do not think any one more prominent than you would ever be so willing to<br>> officiate a wedding for me. So, yes, if that event does occur in my life,<br>> you would be the first I would ask after a Catholic Priest (as I am Catholic<br>
> so I would have to at least ask), which I know he will not approve or<br>> preform a same sex marriage for at least another 300-700 years as they<br>> follow behind social progress. : )<br>><br>> Scott had some very good advice. Many things I didn't think about. I like<br>
> the idea too, of separating the accounts and deciding how to fund each<br>> account, then you don't have overdrafts or someone mad running up the bill<br>> and taking all the money every time there is a spat. I was thinking the best<br>
> way to do it would be split the major shared living bills, like rent, car<br>> payments, cable, Internet, city services and utilities in proportion
to your<br>> incomes but keep your monies in two different accounts.<br>><br>> Chas is always a good person to listen to I think as well when it comes to<br>> personal relationships, especially for me because we both have autistic<br>
> tendencies. But he has also been all over the world and has a good grasp of<br>> the differences and commonalities in each community. In addition, he has<br>> managed to stay married for more than 30 years, which is a long time,<br>
> especially for today.<br>><br>> I want to clarify something though about changing people, or them you. What<br>> counts as changing someone versus just looking out for them? I for example,<br>> don't think the single male, cigarette smoking, heavy beer drinking, pizza<br>
> every night is really a character trait, so much as just what guys do when<br>> they are single. I mean, would it be considered trying to change someone if<br>> trying to
improve their lifestyle back to eating a little healthier, and<br>> going out more with you then sitting on the couch eating potato chips? And<br>> in all honestly, I don't know how one can move in with someone and not<br>
> change some of their behaviors as well as yours.<br>><br>> Thanks for all your input.<br>><br>> Donovan J. Arnold<br>><br>> PS, as for marrying a twin, I think that should be the one exception to<br>
> polygamy. It should be a package deal of two for one, or none at all. How<br>> would you not get jealous of your spouses twin with another person, and not<br>> lust after another person's spouse if they are married. And you know, if<br>
> they are not married, others would know what it was like to sleep with your<br>> spouse. The longest living <span>nonseperated</span> Siamese twins, Chang and Eng Bunker,<br>> were married to two different women. That had to have been
a challenge. Too<br>> odd, yes, Joe.<br>><br>><br>><br>> From: Joe Campbell <<a href="mailto:philosopher.joe@gmail.com" target="_blank">philosopher.joe@gmail.com</a>><br>> To: Scott Dredge <<a href="mailto:scooterd408@hotmail.com" target="_blank">scooterd408@hotmail.com</a>><br>
> Cc: <a href="mailto:donovanjarnold2005@yahoo.com" target="_blank">donovanjarnold2005@yahoo.com</a>; viz <<a href="mailto:vision2020@moscow.com" target="_blank">vision2020@moscow.com</a>><br>> Sent: Thursday, July 19, 2012 9:27 AM<br>
> Subject: Re: [Vision2020] Ques. For you: What is Most Important in a<br>> Relationship?<br>><br>> I forgot one other thing: don't marry a twin! Joe<br>><br>> On Wed, Jul 18, 2012 at 9:03 PM, Scott Dredge <<a href="mailto:scooterd408@hotmail.com" target="_blank">scooterd408@hotmail.com</a>><br>
> wrote:<br>>> You don't need to date someone that is like you, I'd just recommend dating<br>>> someone that you're compatible with and vice <span>versa</span>. You can be opposites<br>>> in<br>
>> many ways and yet still have compatible lifestyles.<br>>><br>>> -Scott<br>>><br>>> ________________________________<br>>> Date: Wed, 18 Jul 2012 19:05:01 -0700<br>>> From: <a href="mailto:donovanjarnold2005@yahoo.com" target="_blank">donovanjarnold2005@yahoo.com</a><br>
>> Subject: Re: [Vision2020] Ques. For you: What is Most Important in a<br>>> Relationship?<br>>> To: <a href="mailto:scooterd408@hotmail.com" target="_blank">scooterd408@hotmail.com</a>; <a href="mailto:vision2020@moscow.com" target="_blank">vision2020@moscow.com</a><br>
>><br>>> Thanks Scott, that does help. I think that is a good litmus test, how long<br>>> I<br>>> can spend in a room with someone and not want to kick them out, or them<br>>> me.<br>>> I don't think however I am compatible with someone that is like me. I like<br>
>> dating someone that is different and therefore more interesting. There are<br>>> few, is any people I like sharing most my time and space with. I know the<br>>> odds are slim of it lasting forever, but you never know unless you try,<br>
>> yes?<br>>> I just, honestly, don't want to wake up two decades from now, be alone,<br>>> fat,<br>>> wrinkled, and missed out on sharing my old age and troubles with someone.<br>>><br>>> Donovan J. Arnold<br>
>><br>>> From: Scott Dredge <<a href="mailto:scooterd408@hotmail.com" target="_blank">scooterd408@hotmail.com</a>><br>>> To: <a href="mailto:donovanjarnold2005@yahoo.com" target="_blank">donovanjarnold2005@yahoo.com</a>; viz <<a href="mailto:vision2020@moscow.com" target="_blank">vision2020@moscow.com</a>><br>
>> Sent: Wednesday, July 18, 2012 7:20 PM<br>>> Subject: RE: [Vision2020] Ques. For you: What is Most Important in a<br>>> Relationship?<br>>><br>>> The utmost importance is to find someone you're compatible with and who's<br>
>> compatible with you. That answers all of your questions below. A good<br>>> test<br>>> of compatibility is to spend a <span>lotta</span>, <span>lotta</span>, <span>lotta</span>, time with them. If<br>
>> you<br>>> spend 3 hours with them and then need
3 days away from them to recover<br>>> from<br>>> being sick of being around them, then that's a good indication of<br>>> incompatibility. If you can travel in close quarters for a solid month<br>
>> where you're pretty much together 24 hours a day and you don't get sick of<br>>> each other and in fact thoroughly enjoy each others company during that<br>>> time, that might be a good indication that you can hang together and might<br>
>> have a lot in common. If you get married to this person, you have a 50/50<br>>> chance - at the absolute very best - at making it the distance (death).<br>>><br>>> I took a psychology class many years ago and the marriage statistics back<br>
>> then were bleak. The prof categorized US marriages such that out of every<br>>> 10 marriages: 5 of them ended in divorce, 2 of them stuck together because<br>>> of convenience, 1 of them
was a dead marriage, 1 stuck together for the<br>>> sake<br>>> of their kids, and 1 was a happy marriage. The moral of the story was<br>>> that<br>>> you had a 10% chance of being happily married - and I guess you just hope<br>
>> to<br>>> God that your spouse is equally happily married otherwise he/she can<br>>> simply<br>>> just say 'bye-bye' and there's not a whole heck of a lot you can do to<br>>> keep<br>
>> your marriage from dissolving like so many of them do.<br>>><br>>> By the way, I've never bought into the idea that 'relationships are work'<br>>> -<br>>> except for bad ones. Those can be a frustratingly pile of work. Why<br>
>> bother? Life is too short to be stuck in a crappy relationship.<br>>><br>>> Best wishes in finding your soul mate!<br>>><br>>> -Scott<br>>><br>>><br>>> Date: Wed, 18
Jul 2012 17:43:41 -0700<br>>> From: <a href="mailto:donovanjarnold2005@yahoo.com" target="_blank">donovanjarnold2005@yahoo.com</a><br>>> To: <a href="mailto:vision2020@moscow.com" target="_blank">vision2020@moscow.com</a><br>
>> Subject: [Vision2020] Ques. For you: What is Most Important in a<br>>> Relationship?<br>><br>>><br>>> I was wondering what people look for in a life partner, what standards do<br>>> they have.<br>
>><br>>> What is most important in a relationship?<br>>><br>>> What character traits do you look for?<br>>><br>>> What are the deal breakers, in terms of looks, behavior, and attitude?<br>
>><br>>> What about looks vs. personality? Would you be willing to have a partner<br>>> you<br>>> know you would not find that attractive in the near future, but they had a<br>>> loving
character and personality?<br>>><br>>> How about their health, would you continue to be with someone even if you<br>>> knew they would leave you old and alone? Would you stay with them and do<br>>> that to them?<br>
>><br>>> What about financial success? Do they need to be at a certain level, or is<br>>> any financial situation OK with a partner you love?<br>>><br>>> People that got divorced, what do you suggest would make a relationship<br>
>> last, not last?<br>>><br>>> How much are you allowed to demand from your partner, and how much should<br>>> you be willing to change for them?<br>>><br>>> How about fidelity? Would you marry if you thought you could not be<br>
>> faithful, or you felt they would not be? How about infidelity after,<br>>> should<br>>> it end, or accepted?<br>>><br>>> Does the idea of being faithful, and being 50/50
partners with person for<br>>> the rest of your life, for better or worse scare you?<br>>><br>>> I know these are kind of personal, and you can be vague, but I am kinda<br>>> wondering if other people think and feel about these issues the same as I<br>
>> do. I've never seriously thought about this stuff before because I was<br>>> young, and marriage was illegal for me until recently. It wasn't really in<br>>> the cards until now. Now that I am getting older and marriage is an<br>
>> actual<br>>> choice, this is kind of new for me so I have not had the opportunity to<br>>> consider and experience these things like many of you have been<br>>> fortunate/unfortunate to have done for your entire life. Any insights you<br>
>> can give me would be appreciated.<br>>><br>>><br>>> Donovan J. Arnold<br>>><br>>>
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