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                                May 9, 2012</h6>
                            
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                                North Carolina Weighs Ban on Electricity, Soap</h1>
                            
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                                Amendment One Supporters Push New Law</h2>
                            
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                                NORTH CAROLINA (<strong><strong><a title="Borowitz Report" href="http://borowitzreport.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=49de3335c30245ecd0fa291aa&id=091e0dab27&e=8ba6febced" target="_blank">The Borowitz Report</a></strong></strong>)
 – Flush with victory from yesterday’s statewide vote, supporters of 
North Carolina’s Amendment One today moved forward with a bold proposal 
to ban electricity and soap.<br>
<br>
Cal Pinckton, a leading proponent of Amendment One who has helped craft 
the new law, says the principles behind it are simple: “If the Bible 
doesn’t mention something, it’s against the law, and the Bible makes no 
mention of either soap or electricity.”<br>
<br>
He adds that North Carolina will “still have plenty of stuff that the Bible does mention, like boils and locusts.”<br>
<br>
While some critics of the proposed law said that it could be damaging to
 North Carolina’s economy since it would drive away fanciers of soap and
 electricity, Mr. Pinckton sees it differently.<br>
<br>
“I think we’ll see a huge boom in tourism,” he says.  “North Carolina is
 on its way to becoming one great big old timey theme park, like 
Colonial Williamsburg.”<br>
<br>
But Mr. Pinckton is careful to emphasize that under the proposed law, 
there would be certain situations in which the use of electricity would 
be permitted: “You could still use electricity for things that are 
explicitly mandated by the Bible, like transvaginal ultrasounds.” <strong><strong><strong>Get a free subscription to the Borowitz Report <a title="Free subscription" href="http://borowitzreport.us1.list-manage1.com/track/click?u=49de3335c30245ecd0fa291aa&id=fe8d8f1733&e=8ba6febced" target="_blank">here</a>.</strong></strong></strong></p>
<br clear="all"><br>-- <br>Art Deco (Wayne A. Fox)<br><a href="mailto:art.deco.studios@gmail.com" target="_blank">art.deco.studios@gmail.com</a><br>