<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;line-height:150%"><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:150%;font-family:Georgia,serif">Good Morning Visionaries:</span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;line-height:150%">
<span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:150%;font-family:Georgia,serif"><br></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;line-height:150%"><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:150%;font-family:Georgia,serif">I thought it was time to take a break from serious topics and have some fun. There is a small book brewing about our adventures in India.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;line-height:150%"><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:150%;font-family:Georgia,serif"><br></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;line-height:150%"><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:150%;font-family:Georgia,serif">Let's hear it for places that have periodic hard freezes,</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;line-height:150%"><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:150%;font-family:Georgia,serif"><br></span></p><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align:left;line-height:150%"><span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:150%;font-family:Georgia,serif">Nick</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center;line-height:150%"><b><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:150%;font-family:"Georgia","serif""><br></span></b></p><p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center;line-height:150%">
<b><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:150%;font-family:"Georgia","serif"">MONKEYS, BUGS, AND BLACK-OUTS:<br clear="all">
PLAYING HOUSE IN INDIA</span></b></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" align="center" style="text-align:center;line-height:150%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:150%;font-family:"Georgia","serif"">By Nick
Gier<b></b></span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><b><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:150%;font-family:"Georgia","serif""> </span></b><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:150%;font-family:"Georgia","serif"">When my partner Gail
joined me for my first sabbatical in Idaho, we moved into a one-bedroom
apartment in an upscale neighborhood of Bangalore. The apartment came with a
daily maid, which initially presented us with a problem. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:150%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:150%;font-family:"Georgia","serif"">This
low caste woman was toiling hours for a pittance, and the apartment needed very
little daily attention. Our Indian neighbors quickly disabused us of our
misplaced sentiments. Lakshmi’s husband
was disabled, and she was the only support for him and her three daughters. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:150%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:150%;font-family:"Georgia","serif"">We
decided that one thing that we could do to salve our consciences was to give
her a 100 percent raise (to $17 a week) and reduce her hours by half. Our
neighbors were furious and accused us of spoiling our servant. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:150%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:150%;font-family:"Georgia","serif"">Lakshmi
was from Tamil Nadu, and I of course did not speak Tamil nor did she know any
English except “Finished!” I desperately
needed to communicate with Lakshmi, so I went downstairs to ask Mrs. Warrior to
translate for me. Yes, that was her surname, presumably the English translation
of <i>khsatriya</i>, the warrior caste. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:150%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:150%;font-family:"Georgia","serif"">After
asking about what cleaning items she needed, I asked Mrs. Warrior to tell
Lakshmi that she was doing a really good job.
I could see that the compliment was not being translated, and I asked
why not. The high caste woman replied
sharply: “You never tell your servants that.”</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:150%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:150%;font-family:"Georgia","serif"">The
apartment had screens on all the windows, but the mosquitoes—the biggest and
smartest we’d ever encountered—still slipped in to torment us. Unlike the ones
that we were used to, these pests would not land anywhere where you could swat
them. We did find them in our closets
sucking the moisture out of our clothes, but we could never catch them.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:150%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:150%;font-family:"Georgia","serif"">The insect
netting tent we brought from the U. S. was oppressive during the warm nights,
and we decided that long term use of the coils was a health hazard. So we turned on the ceiling fans full blast
and that kept the mosquitoes from attacking us. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:150%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:150%;font-family:"Georgia","serif"">The
only problem was that there were scheduled power outages in the mornings (6-7)
and evenings (7-9), so we were fair game if we wanted to sleep until 7, which
of course we did. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:150%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:150%;font-family:"Georgia","serif"">During
those first hours we would wrap ourselves in our sheets and cover our heads
mummy-like, but the mosquitoes still got their meal. The only bloody carcasses
we ever saw were those that were crushed inside our sheets as we turned in bed.
We were very glad that we were taking our malaria pills.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:150%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:150%;font-family:"Georgia","serif"">We really
should have got up at 6, because there were other pests besides the mosquitoes.
Indians are taught by driving instructors to honk their horns to let everyone
know (especially slow bullock carts) that they are coming. The typical India car at that time did not
have very good mufflers, so between the horns and the exhaust noise, we
experienced bombardment from outside as well as inside.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:150%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:150%;font-family:"Georgia","serif"">One day
I went to a market three blocks down the street to get some bananas. On the way home I was confronted by a mother
monkey and her babies. She came right up
to me and made it very clear what she wanted. I didn’t argue with her and let
her have the fruit. </span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:150%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:150%;font-family:"Georgia","serif"">When I
got home Gail asked me where the bananas were, and I told her the truth: “I was mugged by a monkey.” She did not believe me until the next week
when a troop of monkeys had stopped for a rest in the trees next to our
balcony.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:150%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:150%;font-family:"Georgia","serif"">We were
not surprised that our apartment had cockroaches. Trying hard to respect Indian ways, I did not
want to kill them. I of course made
exceptions for mosquitoes, where, ironically, I had failed miserably.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:150%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:150%;font-family:"Georgia","serif"">But one
night the Mother of All Cockroaches scurried across the kitchen floor. I grabbed a meat cleaver and chased that
monster all over the house. I finally
nailed him near the front door.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:150%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:150%;font-family:"Georgia","serif"">The
next morning we noticed that the sugar ants that infested our kitchen had
completely disappeared. When I went to
get the morning paper, I found hundreds of them feasting on the cockroach’s
carcass.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent:.5in;line-height:150%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:150%;font-family:"Georgia","serif"">We
stayed in the same apartment three years later on another research trip. Twenty years have passed so the frustrations
dim and the memories grow fonder, but still we will never play house again in
India. We did, however, did go back to
enjoy the wonderful people and the rich culture two more times, and we intend
to go again.</span></p>
<p class="MsoNormal" style="line-height:150%"><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:150%;font-family:"Georgia","serif""> Nick Gier taught philosophy and religion at the
University of Idaho for 31 years.</span><span style="font-size:12.0pt;line-height:150%"></span></p>