<html><body bgcolor="#FFFFFF"><div></div><div><div id="ecxyiv1589647426" style="-webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); font-size: medium; "><div><div id="ecxyiv1589647426ygrp-text"><div><div><blockquote style="margin-top: 5pt; margin-bottom: 5pt; "><div><div><div><div><div><div id="ecxyiv1589647426"><div><div><div><div><div id="ecxyiv1589647426"><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><blockquote style="border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; border-left-style: solid; border-left-color: rgb(204, 204, 204); border-left-width: 1pt; padding-top: 0in; padding-right: 0in; padding-bottom: 0in; padding-left: 0in; margin-top: 5pt; margin-bottom: 5pt; "><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><div><blockquote style="margin-top: 5pt; margin-bottom: 5pt; "><div><div><div><div><div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0in; margin-left: 0in; font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; margin-top: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "><b><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: maroon; ">Can you imagine the Nun sitting at her desk grading these papers, all the while trying to keep a straight face and maintain her composure!</span></b><span style="color: black; "><o:p></o:p></span></p></div></div><div><div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0in; margin-left: 0in; font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; margin-top: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: blue; "><br><b>PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! </b></span><span style="color: black; "><o:p></o:p></span></p></div></div><div><div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0in; margin-left: 0in; font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; margin-top: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "><b><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: blue; ">IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL TEST.</span></b><b><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: black; "> <br></span></b><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: blue; "><br><b>KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN. <br></b></span><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: black; "><br></span><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: red; "><br><b>1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS, GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF. <br></b></span><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: black; "><br></span><b><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: fuchsia; ">2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE. NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AN ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS. <br></span></b><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: black; "><br><b>3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT. <br></b><br><b>4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS. <br></b></span><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: red; "><br><b>5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH. <br></b></span><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: blue; "><br><b>6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES. <br></b></span><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: black; "><br><b>7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS</b></span><b><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: blue; ">. <br></span></b><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: black; "><br><b>8. THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS. <br></b><br><b>9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENT WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.</b></span><b><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: blue; "> <br><br>10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY. <br></span></b><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: black; "><br></span><b><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: green; ">11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA . THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE<i> <span class="ecxyiv1589647426apple-converted-space"> </span></i></span></b><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: black; "><br> <br></span><b><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: green; ">OF GERITOL.</span></b><b><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: blue; "> <br></span></b><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: black; "><br><b>12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM. <br></b><br></span><b><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: fuchsia; ">13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES. <br></span></b><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: blue; "><br><b>14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVID'S SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES. <br></b></span><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: black; "><br><b>15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA. <br></b><br><b>16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER. <br></b></span><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: red; "><br><b>17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION. <br></b></span><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: blue; "><br><b>18. ST. JOHN , THE BLACKSMITH, DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD. <br></b></span><b><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: black; "><br></span></b><b><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: green; ">19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE. <br></span></b><b><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: black; "><br>20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE. <br></span></b><b><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: red; "><br>21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.</span></b><b><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: black; "> <br><br>22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES. <br><br></span></b><b><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: fuchsia; ">23. <a href="x-apple-data-detectors://0" x-apple-data-detectors="true" style="color: blue; text-decoration: underline; ">ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST</a>. MATTHEW, WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN. <br></span></b><b><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: red; "><br></span></b><b><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: purple; ">24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY. HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.</span></b><b><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: red; "> <br></span></b><b><span style="font-size: 18pt; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; color: blue; "><br>25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.</span></b><span style="color: black; "><o:p></o:p></span></p></div></div></div></div></div></blockquote></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></blockquote></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></div></blockquote></div><p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-right: 0in; margin-left: 0in; font-size: 12pt; font-family: 'Times New Roman', serif; margin-top: 0in; margin-bottom: 0.0001pt; background-image: initial; background-attachment: initial; background-origin: initial; background-clip: initial; background-color: white; background-position: initial initial; background-repeat: initial initial; "><span style="color: black; "><o:p> </o:p></span></p></div></div></div></div><div>Seeya later, Moscow.</div><div><br></div><div>Tom Hansen</div><div>Post Falls, Idaho</div><div><br></div><div>"If not us, who?</div><div>If not now, when?"</div><div><br></div><div>- Unknown</div><div><br></div><div><br></div></div></body></html>