<html><body bgcolor="#FFFFFF"><div></div><div>Courtesy of the Borowitz Report at:</div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://www.borowitzreport.com">http://www.borowitzreport.com</a></div><div><br></div><div>------------------------------</div><h1 style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 30px; line-height: 34px; color: rgb(1, 106, 170); font-weight: normal; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">Gingrich: ‘I’ve Screwed All the Women I Want – All That’s Left is America’</h1><h2 style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 20px; font-weight: normal; color: rgb(99, 96, 84); margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">Newt Wows GOP with Fidelity Pledge</h2><table border="0" align="left" style="margin-right: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); font-size: medium; "><tbody><tr><td valign="top"><img src="http://www.borowitzreport.com/wp-content/uploads/newt.jpg" alt="" title="" align="left" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "></td></tr></tbody></table><p align="left" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">DAVENPORT, IOWA (<strong><a title="Borowitz Report" href="http://borowitzreport.us1.list-manage2.com/track/click?u=49de3335c30245ecd0fa291aa&id=7ea39ebe8f&e=58b7d0c6cf" target="_blank">The Borowitz Report</a></strong>) – GOP presidential frontrunner Newt Gingrich today vowed that his days of infidelity were behind him, telling an audience in Iowa, “I’ve screwed all the women I want – all that’s left is America.”<br><br>Mr. Gingrich added that as President, “I will be one hundred percent faithful to the United States of America, unless of course it gets cancer or something.”<br><br>He also scoffed at rival Mitt Romney’s attempts to portray himself as a happily married family man: “The only reason Mitt Romney hasn’t had any sex scandals is he keeps changing positions.”</p><p align="left" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><br></p><div>------------------------------<br><br><div>Seeya round town, Moscow.</div><div><br></div><div>Tom Hansen</div><div>Moscow, Idaho</div><div><br></div><div>"If not us, who?</div><div>If not now, when?"</div><div><br></div><div>- Unknown</div></div></body></html>