<html><body bgcolor="#FFFFFF"><div></div><div>Courtesy of the Borowitz Report at:</div><div><br></div><div><a href="http://www.borowitzreport.com">http://www.borowitzreport.com</a></div><div><br></div><div>------------------------------</div><h1 style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 30px; line-height: 34px; color: rgb(1, 106, 170); font-weight: normal; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 3px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">Poll: 28% Think Cain Had Affair; 28% Don’t Think Cain Had Affair; 44% Having Affair with Cain Right Now</h1><h2 style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 18px; line-height: 20px; font-weight: normal; color: rgb(99, 96, 84); margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">Millions of Exes Could Spell Trouble for Candidate</h2><table border="0" align="left" style="margin-right: 20px; margin-bottom: 20px; border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); font-size: medium; "><tbody><tr><td valign="top"><img src="http://www.borowitzreport.com/wp-content/uploads/Cain3.jpg" alt="" title="" align="left" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 20px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; "></td></tr></tbody></table><p align="left" style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 15px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 16px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); ">MINNEAPOLIS – In a new poll of likely GOP voters, 28% think Herman Cain had an extramarital affair, 28% do not think he had an affair, and 44% are having an affair with Herman Cain right now.<br><br>Of the voters currently having sex with Mr. Cain, 52% called the relationship “special,” 38% called it “inappropriate,” and 10% agreed with the statement “I know I am Herman’s soul mate and someday we’ll be together.”<br><br>According to Davis Logsdon, who conducted the poll for the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, the numbers could spell trouble for the former pizza executive: “There is no precedent for a successful White House run by a man with over ten million exes.”<br><br>In an interview with CNN’s Wolf Blitzer today, Mr. Cain seemed to brush off the latest development, saying, “Now you know why I got your name wrong, Blitz – I have a lot of names to keep straight in my head.”<br><br>Mr. Cain added, "My message to the American people remains the same, and that message is, 'I told you not to call me here.'"<br><br>But later in the day Mr. Cain got a got a harsh scolding from Republican frontrunner Newt Gingrich: “If Herman is in fact having sex with millions of Americans, he needs to do the right thing and marry them.”</p><div>------------------------------<br><br><div>Seeya round town, Moscow.</div><div><br></div><div>Tom Hansen</div><div>Moscow, Idaho</div><div><br></div><div>"If not us, who?</div><div>If not now, when?"</div><div><br></div><div>- Unknown</div></div></body></html>