<html><body bgcolor="#FFFFFF"><div></div><div>Courtesy of the Borowitz Report at:</div><div><br></div><a href="http://www.borowitzreport.com/">http://www.borowitzreport.com/</a><div><div><br></div><div>------------------------------</div><h1 style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 5px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; clear: both; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 2.83em; line-height: 1.12em; color: rgb(1, 106, 170); font-weight: normal; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); "><span id="LabelTitle">Canada to Build Twenty-foot Fence if Perry Elected</span></h1><h2 style="margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 0px; padding-top: 0px; padding-right: 0px; padding-bottom: 0px; padding-left: 0px; clear: both; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 1.5em; line-height: 1.22em; font-weight: normal; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.292969); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(175, 192, 227, 0.230469); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(77, 128, 180, 0.230469); color: rgb(99, 97, 88); "><span id="LabelSubTitle">Could Be Electrified, Border Officials Warn</span></h2><div>OTTAWA (The Borowitz Report) – Canada warned today that if Gov. Rick Perry (R-TX) is elected President of the United States in 2012, it would take the “regrettably necessary step” of constructing a 20-foot fence along its entire border with the U.S.</div><div><br></div><div>“This is a step that we don’t take lightly,” said Canadian Border Security Minister Ian McLarrity. “However, we must protect ourselves from the prospect of millions of Americans pouring over the border.”</div><div><br></div><div>Mr. McLarrity said that Canadian border officials were alarmed by the volume of panicky comments regarding Americans’ migratory plans in the event of a Perry win posted on websites ranging from National Public Radio to Huffington Post.</div><div><br></div><div>“We are taking this threat very seriously,” he said. “We will electrify the fence if necessary.”</div><div><br></div><div>Perhaps taking the lead from Canada, Mexican officials said today that in the event of a Perry victory it would install tollbooths in its secret underground tunnels, which would require travelers to provide documentary evidence that they are members of a drug cartel in order to gain entry to Mexico.</div><div><br></div><div>At a campaign stop in Florida today, Gov. Perry addressed the prospect of an electrified fence being erected on the United States’ northern border.</div><div><br></div><div>“My position on electrocution is a matter of public record,” he said. “I’m for it.”</div><div> </div><div>------------------------------<br><br><div>Seeya round town, Moscow.</div><div><br></div><div>Tom Hansen</div><div>Moscow, Idaho</div><div> </div><div><br></div><div> </div></div></div></body></html>