<html><head><style type="text/css"><!-- DIV {margin:0px;} --></style></head><body><div style="font-family:times new roman,new york,times,serif;font-size:12pt">It leaked out:<br><br><h6 style="color:#636054;font-family:Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;font-size:11px;text-transform:uppercase;font-weight:normal;padding:0 0 5px 0;margin:0;border-bottom:1px solid #b6b5b1">
April 27, 2011</h6>
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Obama Reveals Unsuccessful Run for President of Kenya</h1>
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Disqualified by U.S. Birth Certificate</h2>
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WASHINGTON (<strong><a title="The Borowitz Report" href="http://borowitzreport.us1.list-manage.com/track/click?u=49de3335c30245ecd0fa291aa&id=3ccc848913&e=568630f31e" target="_blank"><strong>The Borowitz Report</strong></a></strong>)
– In a stunning announcement that took even political insiders by
surprise, President Barack Obama revealed today that he ran for
President of Kenya in 2005 but was disqualified when a birth certificate
surfaced showing he was born in the United States.<br>
<br>
At a press conference at the White House, Mr. Obama spoke for the first
time about his little-known unsuccessful foray into Kenyan politics:
“Like every American boy or girl, I grew up with the dream of someday
becoming President of Kenya.”<br>
<br>
But soon after he entered the race, political opponents began spreading
rumors that he was not “a real Kenyan,” the President said, and foiled
his bid by disseminating copies of his authentic American birth
certificate.<br>
<br>
“I guess I didn’t look into the rules closely enough before I ran,” the
President admitted. “I got caught up in the excitement of being
President of Kenya and I guess I just got carried away.”<br>
<br>
Lisimba Ogongo, a Nairobi talk radio host who spearheaded the effort to
unearth Mr. Obama’s U.S. birth certificate, confirmed Mr. Obama’s
version of events today.<br>
<br>
“I felt strongly that the people of Kenya deserved the truth,” Mr.
Ogongo said. “We were not about to elect a President of Kenya who was
really a secret Hawaiian.”<br>
<br>
Elsewhere, Donald Trump found himself under renewed pressure to produce
all of his authentic marriage certificates, believed to number in the
thousands.<br>
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