<html xmlns:v="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:vml" xmlns:o="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" xmlns:w="urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:word" xmlns:m="http://schemas.microsoft.com/office/2004/12/omml" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/TR/REC-html40">
<head>
<META HTTP-EQUIV="Content-Type" CONTENT="text/html; charset=us-ascii">
<meta name=Generator content="Microsoft Word 12 (filtered medium)">
<!--[if !mso]>
<style>
v\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);}
o\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);}
w\:* {behavior:url(#default#VML);}
.shape {behavior:url(#default#VML);}
</style>
<![endif]-->
<title>Fwd: Fw: FW: airline with a sense of humor</title>
<style>
<!--
/* Font Definitions */
@font-face
{font-family:"Cambria Math";
panose-1:2 4 5 3 5 4 6 3 2 4;}
@font-face
{font-family:Calibri;
panose-1:2 15 5 2 2 2 4 3 2 4;}
@font-face
{font-family:Consolas;
panose-1:2 11 6 9 2 2 4 3 2 4;}
/* Style Definitions */
p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal
{margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman","serif";}
a:link, span.MsoHyperlink
{mso-style-priority:99;
color:blue;
text-decoration:underline;}
a:visited, span.MsoHyperlinkFollowed
{mso-style-priority:99;
color:purple;
text-decoration:underline;}
pre
{mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-link:"HTML Preformatted Char";
margin:0in;
margin-bottom:.0001pt;
font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:"Courier New";}
span.HTMLPreformattedChar
{mso-style-name:"HTML Preformatted Char";
mso-style-priority:99;
mso-style-link:"HTML Preformatted";
font-family:Consolas;}
span.EmailStyle19
{mso-style-type:personal-reply;
font-family:"Calibri","sans-serif";
color:#1F497D;}
.MsoChpDefault
{mso-style-type:export-only;
font-size:10.0pt;}
@page WordSection1
{size:8.5in 11.0in;
margin:1.0in 1.0in 1.0in 1.0in;}
div.WordSection1
{page:WordSection1;}
-->
</style>
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:shapedefaults v:ext="edit" spidmax="1026" />
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:shapelayout v:ext="edit">
<o:idmap v:ext="edit" data="1" />
</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]-->
</head>
<body lang=EN-US link=blue vlink=purple>
<div class=WordSection1>
<blockquote style='margin-top:5.0pt;margin-bottom:5.0pt'>
<blockquote style='margin-top:5.0pt;margin-bottom:5.0pt'>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"'>Courtesy of a
friend and fellow Vision 2020 subscriber</span><span style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"'>
who, apparently, has a great sense of humor.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"'><o:p> </o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"'>Tom Hansen<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"'>Moscow, Idaho<o:p></o:p></span></p>
</blockquote>
<blockquote style='margin-top:5.0pt;margin-bottom:5.0pt'>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"'> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<blockquote style='margin-top:5.0pt;margin-bottom:5.0pt'>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"'> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
</blockquote>
<blockquote style='margin-top:5.0pt;margin-bottom:5.0pt'>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"'> <o:p></o:p></span></p>
</blockquote>
<blockquote style='margin-top:5.0pt;margin-bottom:5.0pt'>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"'>Kulula
Airlines of South Africa . . .<o:p></o:p></span></p>
</blockquote>
<blockquote style='margin-top:5.0pt;margin-bottom:5.0pt'>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";color:black'><br>
Kulula is a low-cost South-African airline that doesn't take itself too
seriously. Check out their new livery! <br>
<img width=640 height=427 id="_x0000_i1025"
src="cid:a06240805c8a2f42cae0f@[10.0.1.2].1.0" alt=airlinew.jpg> <br>
<br>
<img width=640 height=427 id="_x0000_i1026"
src="cid:a06240805c8a2f42cae0f@[10.0.1.2].1.1" alt="airlinew 1.jpg"><br>
<img width=640 height=427 id="_x0000_i1027"
src="cid:a06240805c8a2f42cae0f@[10.0.1.2].1.2" alt="airlinew 2.jpg"> <br>
<br>
<img width=640 height=427 id="_x0000_i1028"
src="cid:a06240805c8a2f42cae0f@[10.0.1.2].1.3" alt="airlinew 3.jpg"></span><span
style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
</blockquote>
<blockquote style='margin-top:5.0pt;margin-bottom:5.0pt'>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";color:black'><br>
<br>
<img width=640 height=427 id="_x0000_i1029"
src="cid:a06240805c8a2f42cae0f@[10.0.1.2].1.4" alt="airlinew 4.jpg"> <br>
<br>
<img width=500 height=250 id="_x0000_i1030"
src="cid:a06240805c8a2f42cae0f@[10.0.1.2].1.5" alt="airlinew 5.jpg"> <br>
<img width=500 height=250 id="_x0000_i1031"
src="cid:a06240805c8a2f42cae0f@[10.0.1.2].1.6" alt="airlinew 6.jpg"> <br>
<img width=500 height=250 id="_x0000_i1032"
src="cid:a06240805c8a2f42cae0f@[10.0.1.2].1.7" alt="airlinew 7.jpg"> <br>
<br>
WHAT A PITY KULULA DOESN'T FLY INTERNATIONALLY</span><span style='font-family:
"Arial","sans-serif"'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
</blockquote>
<blockquote style='margin-top:5.0pt;margin-bottom:5.0pt'>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";color:black'>WE
SHOULD SUPPORT THEM IF ONLY FOR THEIR HUMOUR</span><span style='font-family:
"Arial","sans-serif"'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
</blockquote>
<blockquote style='margin-top:5.0pt;margin-bottom:5.0pt'>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";color:black'> SO
TYPICALLY SOUTH AFRICAN.<br>
<br>
Kulula is an Airline with head office situated in Johannesburg .<br>
<br>
Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight
"safety<br>
lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some
real<br>
examples that have been heard or reported:<br>
--------------------------------------------------------------------<br>
<br>
On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you sit where you
want) <br>
passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a<br>
flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out<br>
furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"<br>
<br>
---o0o---<br>
<br>
On another flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the
pilot<br>
said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be<br>
turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance<br>
the appearance of your flight attendants."<br>
<br>
----o0o---<br>
<br>
On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your<br>
belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's<br>
something we'd like to have."<br>
<br>
----o0o---<br>
<br>
"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out<br>
of this airplane."<br>
<br>
---o0o---<br>
<br>
"Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us
the business<br>
as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."<br>
<br>
---o0o---<br>
<br>
As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban
Airport , a lone<br>
voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"<br>
<br>
---o0o---<br>
<br>
After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo , a<br>
flight attendant on a flight announced, "Please take care when opening<br>
the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as<br>
hell everything has shifted."<br>
<br>
---o0o---<br>
<br>
From a Kulula employee: " Welcome aboard Kulula 271
to Port Elizabeth .<br>
<br>
To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and<br>
pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't<br>
know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public<br>
unsupervised."<br>
<br>
---o0o---<br>
<br>
"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend<br>
from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your<br>
face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask<br>
before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one<br>
small child, pick your favourite."<br>
<br>
---o0o---<br>
<br>
Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but<br>
we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember,<br>
nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines."<br>
<br>
----o0o---<br>
<br>
"Your seats cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an<br>
emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our<br>
compliments."<br>
<br>
---o0o---<br>
<br>
"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.<br>
Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight<br>
attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.."<br>
<br>
---o0o---<br>
<br>
And from the pilot during his welcome message: "Kulula Airlines is<br>
pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in<br>
the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"<br>
<br>
---o0o---<br>
<br>
On Kulula flight 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape
Town, the<br>
flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump<br>
and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the</span><span
style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
</blockquote>
<blockquote style='margin-top:5.0pt;margin-bottom:5.0pt'>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";color:black'>airline's
fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight<br>
attendant's fault. It was the asphalt."<br>
<br>
---o0o---<br>
<br>
On a Kulula flight into Cape Town on a particularly windy and<br>
bumpy day, during the final approach the Captain really had to fight<br>
it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said,
"Ladies<br>
and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats<br>
with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our<br>
airplane to the gate!"<br>
<br>
---o0o---<br>
<br>
Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing:<br>
"We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to<br>
the terminal."<br>
<br>
---o0o---<br>
<br>
An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered<br>
his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which<br>
required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers<br>
exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline."
He said<br>
that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the<br>
passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.<br>
Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking<br>
with a cane. She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?"<br>
"Why, no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little
old lady said,<br>
"Did we land, or were we shot down?"<br>
<br>
---o0o---<br>
<br>
After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg , the attendant came on<br>
with, "Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain<br>
Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt<br>
against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning<br>
bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way<br>
through the wreckage to the terminal.."<br>
<br>
---o0o---<br>
<br>
Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: "We'd like to thank<br>
you folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the<br>
insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal<br>
tube, we hope you'll think of Kulula Airways."<br>
<br>
---o0o---<br>
<br>
Heard on a Kulula flight: "Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to
smoke,<br>
the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing. If you can light<br>
'em, you can smoke 'em."</span><span style='font-family:"Arial","sans-serif"'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
</blockquote>
<blockquote style='margin-top:5.0pt;margin-bottom:5.0pt'>
<p class=MsoNormal><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";
color:black'> </span><o:p></o:p></p>
</blockquote>
<blockquote style='margin-top:5.0pt;margin-bottom:5.0pt'>
<p class=MsoNormal style='mso-margin-top-alt:5.0pt;margin-right:1.5in;
margin-bottom:5.0pt;margin-left:1.5in'><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:"Arial","sans-serif";color:black'> </span><span
style='color:#1F497D'><o:p></o:p></span></p>
</blockquote>
</blockquote>
</blockquote>
</div>
</body>
</html>