<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN">
<HTML><HEAD><TITLE>RE: [Vision2020] Horrible Chritmas Nightmare</TITLE>
<META content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1" http-equiv=Content-Type>
<META name=GENERATOR content="MSHTML 8.00.6001.18854">
<STYLE></STYLE>
</HEAD>
<BODY bgColor=#ffffff>
<DIV><FONT size=2>Nick,</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2>Thank you for your moving, impassioned reply. I humbly
apologize for misspelling Christmas in the original enote subject line.
</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2>Although Art Van Damme and Pete Jolly are accordion playing
heroes of mine, I fear for the worst for others of that ilk. Wasn't it
Dave Barry who most accurately pointed out that the vast majority of those on
death row are former accordion players?</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2>Isn't there a yearly festival in Babb, Montana where thousands
of accordions are crushed by steamrollers? And isn't this festival
financed by the National Republican Party? What better proof could be
needed that accordions = EVIL?</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2>Pants for boys with a zipper on the side? What would the
omniscient Cultmaster Douglas Wilson say? A sign that the Second Coming is
nigh? That the swirling vortex of The Rhapsody will not be sucking up
any male accordion players so attired or Mammy Prentice
either? </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2>And weren't such side-zippered pants a little bit of a problem
for those unfortunate male accordionists who needed to pee? Which
restrooms did they use? Boys or Girls?</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2>But thank you for your insights on the psyche of accordion
players -- in reality, not much different from that of Dave Barry.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2>Happy holidays,</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2>W.</FONT></DIV>
<BLOCKQUOTE
style="BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px"
dir=ltr>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial">----- Original Message ----- </DIV>
<DIV
style="FONT: 10pt arial; BACKGROUND: #e4e4e4; font-color: black"><B>From:</B>
<A title=NGIER@uidaho.edu href="mailto:NGIER@uidaho.edu">Gier, Nicholas</A>
</DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>To:</B> <A title=deco@moscow.com
href="mailto:deco@moscow.com">Art Deco</A> ; <A title=vision2020@moscow.com
href="mailto:vision2020@moscow.com">Vision 2020</A> </DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Cc:</B> <A title=philipdeutchman@yahoo.com
href="mailto:philipdeutchman@yahoo.com">philipdeutchman@yahoo.com</A> </DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Sent:</B> Friday, December 18, 2009 10:46
AM</DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Subject:</B> RE: [Vision2020] Horrible
Chritmas Nightmare</DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV><!-- Converted from text/plain format -->
<P><FONT size=2>Dear Wayne,<BR><BR>Your insult is a new low for long suffering
accordionists (such as myself) all over the world. Not since Donald Rumsfeld
charged that having French troops as allies was like bringing an accordion
band on a hunting trip have we been so mistreated. At that time I posted
on the Vision a prediction that mellifluous accordion music would attract game
rather than scare them away. But wait, don't we want to scare terrorists
away! Mr. Rumsfeld: I'm really confused!<BR><BR>I now pause for a moment of
silence for my two accordion teachers. My first was Eve ("Mammy") Prentice,
whose husband never said a word and quietly fixed all the broken instruments,
which were many because Mammy insisted on double fortissimo for all songs.
Freud had a name for Mammy Prentice, but I cannot print it here for innocent
visionary ears. Some of you may be thinking this, but no, Mammy was not
black. She was Caucasian and indomitable.<BR><BR>All my life I've slowly
recovered from the following psychological injury. When Mammy ordered uniforms
for our accordion marching band, she chose girls' pants with a zipper on the
side for everyone! What a blow to tender young boy egos! (Freud's phrase
occurs to me once again.) Yes, we marched in every parade in Medford,
Oregon, and my best memory is the annual Pear Blossom Parade, where the
prettiest girl among us was excused from playing and became our festival
princess on a float decorated with pear blossoms. We marched two by two
on each side of the float playing some spring-like tune, but no harmonies
please, just the same notes at the loudest we could squeeze
them. <BR><BR>At least it was not as silly and awkward as Woody Allen
playing his cello in the marching band in Take the Money and Run. But
with those heavy 120-bass instruments (mine weighs 37 pounds), many of us
small folk would have enjoyed sitting down for a moment.<BR><BR>My second
accordion teacher was Caesar Mussioli (I'm not making this up!), who came all
the way out from Boston with his Cuban wife to take over the studio when Mammy
retired at age at the ripe age of 90. Caesar was a great musician, and he
could, unlike Mammy, actually play the accordion. Every Monday night we
learned music theory from him and for the first time we played harmonies so
beautiful that we could sooth a terrorist's heart. The Cuban wife, unused to
our quaint ways, left him early on in Caesar's Southern Oregon career. Boy,
did she have a temper!<BR><BR>Wayne, please retract your insult. As you
can see accordion players are very sensitive and have very tender
egos.<BR><BR>Nick<BR><BR>P.S. Hey Wayne, I have a huge file of offensive
accordion jokes and cartoons. Would you like to see
them?<BR><BR><BR>-----Original Message-----<BR>From:
vision2020-bounces@moscow.com on behalf of Art Deco<BR>Sent: Fri 12/18/2009
9:50 AM<BR>To: Vision 2020<BR>Subject: [Vision2020] Horrible Chritmas
Nightmare<BR><BR>The Korean Accordion
Orchestra:<BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR></FONT></P></BLOCKQUOTE></BODY></HTML>