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<DIV><FONT size=2>Nick,</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2>I am sorry about your great despair. But look on the
bright side. It could have been much worse:</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2>You could have been an oboist or bassoonist. These
unbalanced masochists spend most of their waking hours either making or
modifying reeds.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2>Or, God forbid, you could have been a french hornist.
Almost all of these to-be-greatly-pitied victims spend a lifetime
unsuccessfully attempting to play this instrument of Satan in tune.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2>W.</FONT></DIV>
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<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial">----- Original Message ----- </DIV>
<DIV
style="FONT: 10pt arial; BACKGROUND: #e4e4e4; font-color: black"><B>From:</B>
<A title=NGIER@uidaho.edu href="mailto:NGIER@uidaho.edu">Gier, Nicholas</A>
</DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>To:</B> <A title=deco@moscow.com
href="mailto:deco@moscow.com">Art Deco</A> ; <A title=vision2020@moscow.com
href="mailto:vision2020@moscow.com">Vision 2020</A> </DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Sent:</B> Friday, December 18, 2009 11:55
AM</DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Subject:</B> RE: [Vision2020] Horrible
Christmas Nightmare</DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV><!-- Converted from text/plain format -->
<P><FONT size=2>Hi Wayne,<BR><BR>Thanks for your response, but I am still in
despair. In response to your prying question about "How and where did we
pee," my answer is that we boys held it until we got back into proper male
attire. As a result we have all suffered from chronic bladder
problems.<BR><BR>Nick<BR><BR><BR>-----Original Message-----<BR>From: <A
href="mailto:vision2020-bounces@moscow.com">vision2020-bounces@moscow.com</A>
on behalf of Art Deco<BR>Sent: Fri 12/18/2009 11:47 AM<BR>To: Vision
2020<BR>Subject: Re: [Vision2020] Horrible Christmas Nightmare<BR><BR>RE:
[Vision2020] Horrible Chritmas NightmareNick,<BR><BR>Thank you for your
moving, impassioned reply. I humbly apologize for misspelling Christmas
in the original enote subject line. <BR><BR>Although Art Van Damme and
Pete Jolly are accordion playing heroes of mine, I fear for the worst for
others of that ilk. Wasn't it Dave Barry who most accurately pointed out
that the vast majority of those on death row are former accordion
players?<BR><BR>Isn't there a yearly festival in Babb, Montana where thousands
of accordions are crushed by steamrollers? And isn't this festival
financed by the National Republican Party? What better proof could be
needed that accordions = EVIL?<BR><BR>Pants for boys with a zipper on the
side? What would the omniscient Cultmaster Douglas Wilson say? A
sign that the Second Coming is nigh? That the swirling vortex of The
Rhapsody will not be sucking up any male accordion players so attired or Mammy
Prentice either?<BR><BR>And weren't such side-zippered pants a little bit of a
problem for those unfortunate male accordionists who needed to pee?
Which restrooms did they use? Boys or Girls?<BR><BR>But thank you for
your insights on the psyche of accordion players -- in reality, not much
different from that of Dave Barry.<BR><BR>Happy holidays,<BR><BR>W.<BR>
----- Original Message -----<BR> From: Gier, Nicholas<BR> To: Art
Deco ; Vision 2020<BR> Cc: philipdeutchman@yahoo.com<BR> Sent:
Friday, December 18, 2009 10:46 AM<BR> Subject: RE: [Vision2020]
Horrible Chritmas Nightmare<BR><BR><BR> Dear Wayne,<BR><BR> Your
insult is a new low for long suffering accordionists (such as myself) all over
the world. Not since Donald Rumsfeld charged that having French troops as
allies was like bringing an accordion band on a hunting trip have we been so
mistreated. At that time I posted on the Vision a prediction that
mellifluous accordion music would attract game rather than scare them
away. But wait, don't we want to scare terrorists away! Mr. Rumsfeld:
I'm really confused!<BR><BR> I now pause for a moment of silence for my
two accordion teachers. My first was Eve ("Mammy") Prentice, whose husband
never said a word and quietly fixed all the broken instruments, which were
many because Mammy insisted on double fortissimo for all songs. Freud had a
name for Mammy Prentice, but I cannot print it here for innocent visionary
ears. Some of you may be thinking this, but no, Mammy was not black. She
was Caucasian and indomitable.<BR><BR> All my life I've slowly recovered
from the following psychological injury. When Mammy ordered uniforms for our
accordion marching band, she chose girls' pants with a zipper on the side for
everyone! What a blow to tender young boy egos! (Freud's phrase occurs
to me once again.) Yes, we marched in every parade in Medford, Oregon,
and my best memory is the annual Pear Blossom Parade, where the prettiest girl
among us was excused from playing and became our festival princess on a float
decorated with pear blossoms. We marched two by two on each side of the
float playing some spring-like tune, but no harmonies please, just the same
notes at the loudest we could squeeze them.<BR><BR> At least it was not
as silly and awkward as Woody Allen playing his cello in the marching band in
Take the Money and Run. But with those heavy 120-bass instruments (mine
weighs 37 pounds), many of us small folk would have enjoyed sitting down for a
moment.<BR><BR> My second accordion teacher was Caesar Mussioli (I'm not
making this up!), who came all the way out from Boston with his Cuban wife to
take over the studio when Mammy retired at age at the ripe age of 90. Caesar
was a great musician, and he could, unlike Mammy, actually play the accordion.
Every Monday night we learned music theory from him and for the first time we
played harmonies so beautiful that we could sooth a terrorist's heart. The
Cuban wife, unused to our quaint ways, left him early on in Caesar's Southern
Oregon career. Boy, did she have a temper!<BR><BR> Wayne, please retract
your insult. As you can see accordion players are very sensitive and
have very tender egos.<BR><BR> Nick<BR><BR> P.S. Hey Wayne,
I have a huge file of offensive accordion jokes and cartoons. Would you
like to see them?<BR><BR><BR> -----Original Message-----<BR> From:
vision2020-bounces@moscow.com on behalf of Art Deco<BR> Sent: Fri
12/18/2009 9:50 AM<BR> To: Vision 2020<BR> Subject: [Vision2020]
Horrible Chritmas Nightmare<BR><BR> The Korean Accordion
Orchestra:<BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR><BR></FONT></P></BLOCKQUOTE></BODY></HTML>