[From nobody Wed Oct 29 12:14:26 2008 Received: from smtpauth13.mail.atl.earthlink.net ([209.86.89.73]) by mail.turbonet.com (Cactus Mail Server v9.2.1) with ESMTP id FPF80224 for <lfalen@turbonet.com>; Fri, 24 Oct 2008 22:32:24 -0700 Received: from [4.240.0.148] (helo=LK) by smtpauth13.mail.atl.earthlink.net with esmtpa (Exim 4.67) (envelope-from <louiseklink@peoplepc.com>) id 1Ktbl8-0006Z1-J4 for lfalen@turbonet.com; Sat, 25 Oct 2008 01:32:23 -0400 Message-ID: <38D6AA00D3F148BB8EF54FF74A4CCFCB@LK> Reply-To: <louiseklink@peoplepc.com> From: <louiseklink@peoplepc.com> To: "\(R\) Roger / Anita Falen" <lfalen@turbonet.com> Subject: Notice to all employees... Hope this is just hypothetical Date: Fri, 24 Oct 2008 22:32:24 -0700 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="----=_NextPart_000_0084_01C93628.630A9740" X-Priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 6.00.2900.5512 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V6.00.2900.5579 X-ELNK-Trace: 11fb1096b38f33a9c6451c614043eb1cee5776d5a6a9b746a3250891117779e99bb37908f3a1248e387f7b89c61deb1d350badd9bab72f9c350badd9bab72f9c X-Originating-IP: 4.240.0.148 X-Spam-Status: No, hits=3.90 required=5.00 tests=HTML_MESSAGE=0.00, FORGED_MUA_OUTLOOK=3.88, BAYES_50=0.00, NO_RDNS2=0.01 version=3.2.1 X-Spam-Level: *** X-Spam-Checker-Version: SpamAssassin 3.2.1 (1.0) on mail.turbonet.com This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=_NextPart_000_0084_01C93628.630A9740 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Notice to All Employees As of November 5, 2008, when President Obama is officially elected into = office, our company will instill a few new policies which are in keeping = with his new, inspiring issues of change and fairness: =20 1. All salespeople will be pooling their sales and bonuses into a = common pool that will be divided equally between all of you. This will = serve to give those of you who are underachieving a "fair shake." 2. All low level workers will be pooling their wages, including = overtime, into a common pool, dividing it equally amongst yourselves. = This will help those who are "too busy for overtime" to reap the rewards = from those who have more spare time and can work extra hours. 3. All top management will now be referred to as "the government." = We will not participate in this "pooling" experience because the law = doesn't apply to us. 4. The "government" will give eloquent speeches to all employees = every week, encouraging it's workers to continue to work hard "for the = good of all." 5. The employees will be thrilled with these new policies because = it's "good to spread the wealth." Those of you who have underachieved = will finally get an opportunity; those of you who have worked hard and = had success will feel more "patriotic." =20 6. The last few people who were hired should clean out their desks. = Don't feel bad, though, because President Obama will give you free = healthcare, free handouts, free oil for heating your home, free food = stamps, and he'll let you stay in your home for as long as you want even = if you can't pay your mortgage. If you appeal directly to our = democratic congress, you might even get a free flat screen TV and a = coupon for free haircuts (shouldn't all Americans be entitled to nice = looking hair?) !!! If for any reason you are not happy with the new policies, you may want = to rethink your vote on November 4th, or send this to your independent = or liberal friends. ------=_NextPart_000_0084_01C93628.630A9740 Content-Type: text/html; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable <!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN"> <HTML xmlns=3D"http://www.w3.org/TR/REC-html40" xmlns:v =3D=20 "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:vml" xmlns:o =3D=20 "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" xmlns:w =3D=20 "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:word"><HEAD> <META http-equiv=3DContent-Type content=3D"text/html; = charset=3Diso-8859-1"> <META content=3D"MSHTML 6.00.6000.16735" name=3DGENERATOR> <STYLE>@page Section1 {size: 8.5in 11.0in; margin: 1.0in 1.25in 1.0in = 1.25in; } P.MsoNormal { FONT-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; FONT-FAMILY: "Times New Roman" } LI.MsoNormal { FONT-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; FONT-FAMILY: "Times New Roman" } DIV.MsoNormal { FONT-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; FONT-FAMILY: "Times New Roman" } A:link { COLOR: blue; TEXT-DECORATION: underline } SPAN.MsoHyperlink { COLOR: blue; TEXT-DECORATION: underline } A:visited { COLOR: purple; TEXT-DECORATION: underline } SPAN.MsoHyperlinkFollowed { COLOR: purple; TEXT-DECORATION: underline } SPAN.EmailStyle17 { COLOR: navy; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-style-type: personal-reply } DIV.Section1 { page: Section1 } </STYLE> <!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapedefaults v:ext=3D"edit" spidmax=3D"1026" /> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <o:shapelayout v:ext=3D"edit"> <o:idmap v:ext=3D"edit" data=3D"1" /> </o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]--></HEAD> <BODY lang=3DEN-US vLink=3Dpurple link=3Dblue bgColor=3Dwhite> <DIV><FONT face=3D"Times New Roman" size=3D3><SPAN=20 style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt">&nbsp;Notice to All Employees<BR><BR>As of = November 5,=20 2008, when President Obama is officially elected into office, our = company will=20 instill a few new policies which are in keeping with his new, inspiring = issues=20 of change and fairness:<BR>&nbsp;<BR>1.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; All = salespeople=20 will be pooling their sales and bonuses into a common pool that will be = divided=20 equally between all of you.&nbsp; This will serve to give those of you = who are=20 underachieving a "fair shake."<BR><BR>2.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; All low = level=20 workers will be pooling their wages, including overtime, into a common = pool,=20 dividing it equally amongst yourselves.&nbsp; This will help those who = are "too=20 busy for overtime" to reap the rewards from those who have more spare = time and=20 can work extra hours.<BR><BR>3.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; All top = management will=20 now be referred to as "the government."&nbsp; We will not participate in = this=20 "pooling" experience because the law doesn't apply to=20 us.<BR><BR>4.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; The "government" will give = eloquent=20 speeches to all employees every week, encouraging it's workers to = continue to=20 work hard "for the good of all."<BR><BR>5.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; The = employees=20 will be thrilled with these new policies because it's "good to spread = the=20 wealth."&nbsp; Those of you who have underachieved will finally get an=20 opportunity; those of you who have worked hard and had success will feel = more=20 "patriotic."&nbsp; </SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=3D"Times New Roman" size=3D3><SPAN=20 style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt"></SPAN></FONT>&nbsp;</DIV> <DIV><FONT face=3D"Times New Roman" size=3D3><SPAN=20 style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt"></SPAN></FONT><FONT face=3D"Times New Roman" = size=3D3><SPAN=20 style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt">6.&nbsp; The last few people who were hired = should clean=20 out their desks.&nbsp; Don't feel bad, though, because President Obama = will give=20 you free healthcare, free handouts, free oil for heating your home, free = food=20 stamps, and he'll let you stay in your home for as long as you want even = if you=20 can't pay your mortgage.&nbsp; If you appeal directly to our democratic=20 congress, you might even get a free flat screen TV and a coupon for free = haircuts (shouldn't all Americans be entitled to nice looking hair?)=20 !!!<o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></DIV> <DIV class=3DSection1> <DIV> <P class=3DMsoNormal style=3D"MARGIN-BOTTOM: 12pt"><FONT face=3D"Times = New Roman"=20 size=3D3><SPAN style=3D"FONT-SIZE: 12pt">If for any reason you are not = happy with=20 the new policies, you may want to rethink your vote on&nbsp; November = 4th, or=20 send this to your independent or liberal=20 friends.<BR><BR><BR><BR><o:p></o:p></SPAN></FONT></P></DIV></DIV></BODY><= /HTML> ------=_NextPart_000_0084_01C93628.630A9740--]