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>From Andy Borowitz.......Carl Westberg Jr. McCAIN REPLACES PALIN WITH STARTLED DEER: <span id="LabelReport">With
less than a week to go before the crucial vice-presidential debate, GOP
presidential nominee John McCain announced today that he was replacing
his running mate, Alaska governor Sarah Palin, with a startled deer.</span><br>
<br>According to campaign insiders, the decision to select a hoofed
mammal to replace Gov. Palin evolved after Sen. McCain watched his
running mate's performance in a series of interviews with CBS's Katie
Couric.<br>
<br>"Good Lord, a startled deer could do better than that," Sen.
McCain reportedly said, prompting his aides to draw up a shortlist of
startled deer.<br>
<br>The Arizona senator supposedly brushed aside concerns that a
startled deer would wilt under the pressure of a televised debate,
telling aides, "At least a goddamn deer won't go on about Alaska being
close to Russia."<br>
<br>The McCain campaign said today that Sen. McCain's new running
mate, Bucky the Red Deer, would not be made available to the press
prior to the debate.<br>
<br>"Bucky is very much a work in progress," said McCain campaign
manager Rick Davis. "Right now we're working on keeping him from
bolting off the stage."<br>
<br>Bucky's opponent in the upcoming debate, Delaware senator Joseph
Biden, appeared today to be trying to manage expectations for
the high-stakes face-off with his four-legged rival.<br>
<br>"Bucky the Red Deer is articulate, bright and clean," Sen. Biden said. "That's storybook, man."<br>
<br>Elsewhere, former "American Idol" star Clay Aiken revealed that he was gay in an exclusive interview with <em>Duh</em> magazine.
<br /><hr />Get more out of the Web. Learn 10 hidden secrets of Windows Live. <a href='http://windowslive.com/connect/post/jamiethomson.spaces.live.com-Blog-cns!550F681DAD532637!5295.entry?ocid=TXT_TAGLM_WL_getmore_092008' target='_new'>Learn Now</a></body>
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