<div dir="ltr">From the Huffington Post:<br><br><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-ridley/the-guide-to-the-conserva_b_124368.html">http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-ridley/the-guide-to-the-conserva_b_124368.html</a><br>
<br>John Ridley,<br><h1><a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-ridley/the-guide-to-the-conserva_b_124368.html" title="Permalink" id="title_permalink">The Guide to the Conservative Palinguage Vol.2 -- the People's Edition</a></h1>
<br>If you get 18 million people to vote for you in a national
presidential primary, you're a "phoney." Get 100,000+ people to vote
you governor of the 47th most populous state in the Union, you're "well
loved." <br><p>
<br>
SoyAA says: If you are biracial and born in a state not connected to
the lower 48, America needs darn near 2 years and 3 major speeches to
"get to know you." If you're white and from a state not connected to
the lower 48, America needs 36 minutes and 38 seconds worth of an
acceptance speech to know you're "one of us." </p>
<p>If you give your wife a dap on stage, it's actually a "terrorist
fist jab." If your daughter licks her palm so that she can slick down
your youngest child's hair on national TV it's an "adorable moment."
(Seriously, forget about abstinence only, teach these folks some
grooming skills). </p>
<p>DTD SAYS: If your pastor rails against inequality in the United
States of America, you're an "extremist." If your pastor welcomes a
sermon by a member of Jews for Jesus who preaches that the killing of
Jews by terrorists is a lesson to Jews that they must convert to
Christianity, you're a "fundamentalist." <br>
<br>
If you're a black man and you use a scholarship to get into college,
then work your way up to being the president of the Harvard Law Review,
you're "uppity." If you're a conservative and your parents pay your way
to Hawaii Pacific University . . . you only have four more schools to
attend over the next five years before you somehow manage to graduate
(it might be five more schools over the next five years. No one has yet
verified whether or not Palin was actually ever registered at the
University of Hawaii at Hilo. But, you know how shady people are who
ever attended any kind of school in Hawaii). </p>
SeanOcali says: If you're 18, white, and get a 16 year old girl
pregnant "life happens." If you're 18, black, and impregnate a 16 year
old girl, you're a "registered sex offender." <br>
<br>
If you spend 18 months building a campaign around the theme of
"Change," it's just "empty rhetoric." If one week before your party's
national convention you SUDDENLY make your candidacy about "Change,"
that's "red meat." <br><br><br></div>