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<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2>This piece is so beautifully written and so very,
very true. I will say that one of the reasons we feel fortunate to live in
Moscow with a disabled child (who is certainly no longer a child agewise) is
because there are so many who treasure their relationship with her just as we
do. Bruce is right...those small gestures people make to her as a sign she
is important to them, are big items to her. </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2>I will add something here, though, that might be
considered from another perspective. I do not believe that it is
necessarily an act to be applauded when a couple chooses to have a
disabled child, nor is it somehow less than good when they choose not
to do so. Those are personal decisions that are best made by the people
involved in response to what they feel is right for them and their family
situation. </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2>Sympathetic people with the best of intentions
would tell me, "God must have loved you very much to have chosen you to have
this child." What an inane comment! I would rather they had thought
of it this way: Rearing a disabled child is comparable to taking a
trip. One might have originally bought a ticket to London and ended
up in Paris. The journey is different, but the destination is not
necessarily worse. </FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2>Anyway, thanks for the posting, Bruce.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2>Sue H. </FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>----- Original Message ----- </DIV>
<BLOCKQUOTE
style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px">
<DIV
style="BACKGROUND: #e4e4e4; FONT: 10pt arial; font-color: black"><B>From:</B>
<A title=jeanlivingston@turbonet.com
href="mailto:jeanlivingston@turbonet.com">Bruce and Jean Livingston</A> </DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>To:</B> <A title=vision2020@moscow.com
href="mailto:vision2020@moscow.com">vision2020@moscow.com</A> </DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Sent:</B> Friday, September 05, 2008 11:27
AM</DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Subject:</B> [Vision2020] the "Support the
Palins Really Need"</DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial>From the opinon pages of the Washington Post, today, an
interesting column is reprinted below. I post it not to foster a
political discussion, but to remind us all of our common humanity.
Caring and consideration for other people, especially those less fortunate
than ourselves, is a noble aspiration for us all, one that can make the
world in which we live a kinder, warmer place. Some forms of caring and
consideration are hard and time consuming, but others are not. Little
gestures, easily done, such as a kind smile and nod of the head to acknowledge
an oncoming pedestrian in our small town, can make a difference.
</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial>Rare is the person who is intentionally hurtful or
cruel; most of us are simply unaware.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial>Bruce Livingston</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial>P.S. I suppose I cannot post this article without
someone pointing out that "common humanity" and "those less fortunate than
ourselves" are notions that apply to an eight celled embryo -- if you
believe that embryo is a human being. Like Jeff Harkins, who
suggested we have a discussion of political issues on which there might be
less entrenched and polarized views than abortion, I am not posting this piece
to argue over abortion and the definition of "humans" or "when life
begins." I am posting it in the hope of having people think about the
humans in our community with disabilities of some kind, and the effort that
can make all of our community's lives happier and fuller. I do
salute the Palins personal decision to carry their child, Trig, to
term, but I post this article because it made me think of ways in which I
might make the lives around me fuller, happier and more
complete.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><STRONG><FONT size=5>The Support the Palins Really
Need<BR></FONT></STRONG>
<P><FONT size=-1>By Ellen Crosby<BR>Friday, September 5, 2008; A21<BR></FONT>
<P>
<P>Ever since John McCain picked Sarah Palin to be his running mate, many have
lavished praise on her decision not to have an abortion after she and her
husband learned that their youngest child, Trig, would be born with Down
syndrome. Do those telling Palin "attagirl" and "way to go" have any idea what
challenges and struggles Trig's parents -- and all of us who care for children
with special needs -- live with every day? Though everyone cheered the Palin
family in Minnesota this week, will those people be there for that little boy
and his family when their support is really needed?</P>
<P>How much better it would be if we could see past the hyper-toxic subject of
abortion in this election and let Sarah and <A
href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/related/topic/Todd+Palin?tid=informline"
target="">Todd Palin</A>'s decision spotlight a topic far from our national
consciousness: the needs of Americans with disabilities. They are our
country's most underserved, neglected and marginalized minority.</P>
<P>The parents of every special-needs child know that the Palins have a hard
road ahead of them. The heartbreak of watching the isolation and loneliness
Trig will face because he wants to be like other kids but isn't. The first
time they find out he sits alone in the cafeteria and on the school bus. The
realization that Trig understands why he doesn't get asked to the movies or
birthday parties like other kids but doesn't know what he did wrong.</P>
<P>The toughest challenges that <A
href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/related/topic/Sarah+Palin?tid=informline"
target="">Sarah Palin</A> will face as the Republicans' vice presidential
nominee will probably look like a walk in the park when, as a mother, she sees
how invisible her son is to people who look away or through him at the grocery
store or the mall. She will be frustrated by doctors who dismiss her concerns
as overreacting or have no answers for her questions. She will grow weary of
the mountain of legal documents she and her husband must sign and the annual
negotiations and pleas they must endure with a phalanx of teachers, therapists
and administrators about what Trig's curriculum will be at school.</P>
<P>The Palins will come to understand with acute clarity that while the sky is
the limit for their other children, for Trig the world will gradually become a
smaller place. And it will be their life's work to make sure that world is
safe and nurturing and fulfilling -- a place where strangers don't take
advantage of him or abuse him when they can't be there to prevent it. They
will be tested and angered and have their hearts broken. But the most
challenging journey will be Trig's, as he struggles with the basic tasks most
of us take for granted.</P>
<P>Still, there will be joy. The Palins will discover that this child will
change their lives in ways they could never have imagined, and they will be
richer for it. They will make friends and meet teachers, therapists and
volunteers at <A
href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/related/topic/Special+Olympics+International+Inc.?tid=informline"
target="">Special Olympics</A> and Best Buddies who will open their hearts and
love Trig, treating him with a dignity he too rarely receives. Those good,
compassionate people and the other special families who become part of their
world will get them through tough times.</P>
<P>It is said that God chooses the families to whom he sends His special
children. The Palins are indeed right that Trig is a blessing and a gift. But
how much better would it be if, instead of praising Sarah Palin for not
choosing abortion, we could focus instead on what this child, and all disabled
Americans, need from us? If we could be there for the Palins on the journey
they face as a family? Doing so would surely add to the diversity of an
election year that has already shattered barriers of race and gender.</P>
<P><I>Ellen Crosby is a novelist who lives in Northern Virginia. She and her
husband have an autistic son.</I></P></DIV>
<P>
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