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<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2>This is outrageous. My inbox is already packed to
capacity with come ons for "adding inches" and now I have to receive it from the
Vision as well? What next, suggestions for dubious Canadian
pharmaceutical enhancements and online gambling? This blatant hucksterism
must be nipped in the bud.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2>g</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2>P.S. Any attempt to mollify my faux outrage will be
met with uncharacteristic stony silence.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2>----- Original Message ----- </FONT>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2>From: <</FONT><A
href="mailto:nickgier@adelphia.net"><FONT face=Arial
size=2>nickgier@adelphia.net</FONT></A><FONT face=Arial size=2>></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2>To: <</FONT><A
href="mailto:vision2020@moscow.com"><FONT face=Arial
size=2>vision2020@moscow.com</FONT></A><FONT face=Arial size=2>></FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2>Sent: Tuesday, February 26, 2008 9:21
PM</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial size=2>Subject: [Vision2020] The Meterley Report: Always
Giving 3.37 Inches Morethan Yardley</FONT></DIV></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial><BR><FONT size=2></FONT></FONT></DIV><FONT face=Arial
size=2>> Greetings:<BR>> <BR>> I did a serious response to the Yardley
Report and here is something a little lighter. This is my radio commentary for
KRFP 92.5 FM at 8:05 AM (repeated at 9:35AM).<BR>> <BR>> THE METERLEY
REPORT:<BR>> ALWAYS GIVING 3.37 INCHES MORE THAN YARDLEY<BR>> <BR>> By
Felix Iusemetriks<BR>> <BR>> I believe the UI has been poorly served by
highly paid consultants, especially the Yardley Research Group, who just
submitted a bill for $130,383 for a report insulting to the faculty and
dismissive of undergraduate education at the Moscow campus.<BR>> <BR>> I
have therefore hired Meterley Associates in Sophia, Bulgaria, who always promise
at least 3.37 inches more than Yardley. Even though they demand payment in
Euros, their charges are always one tenth those of Yardley.<BR>> <BR>> The
UI has also been ill advised by other consultants. Consider the PR firm
that gave us the infamous motto “No Fences.” This is a poor message to
Idahoans who, for generations, have fenced their land, and certainly don’t want
their children to attend a college that apparently places no limits on their
behavior.<BR>> <BR>> That motto has now been withdrawn, and instead of
getting our money back, the UI is now paying the same firm $900,000 a year for
an equally bad phrase “A Legacy of Leadership.” <BR>> <BR>> This
consulting firm has also convinced the UI to give up the beautiful sunburst logo
and instead we now have a simple University of Idaho, where the slanting of
gives the impression that we are bending into a very stiff head wind. We
certainly don't want a Legacy of Leaning Over.<BR>> <BR>> The Meterley
team has one specific recommendation: please repaint the water tower on the golf
course to its original color and please return the sunburst logo with its clever
“Uis” on the tower. The new color is horrid.<BR>> <BR>> The Meterley
Report recommends that the new UI motto be “A legacy of excellence in letters,
arts, and science, rather than losing on field and court.” <BR>>
<BR>> Yardley rightly pointed out the national reputation of our theater
department and the UI Jazz Festival, which just won a National Medal for the
Arts. Recently it was announced that nearly every faculty member in the UI
creative writing program had won an award for their work and/or published a
book.<BR>> <BR>> Three million dollars a year in appropriated funds,
monies that should go to academic programs, have been poured into
athletics. Meterley's researchers propose that that this appropriation be
given instead to the letters, arts, and sciences for increased salaries and
scholarships. The $900,000 a year wasted on logos, mottos, and poor PR
could be better used as a scholarship fund for all UI students.<BR>> <BR>>
The Meterley team also recommends that the UI Press, one of whose titles
garnered national attention, be brought back. During the financial crisis
after 9/11, the UI Faculty Council voted to eliminate the press because it
required a $300,000 subsidy. Later Faculty Council refused to phase out
the huge subsidy for athletics, even though it served, unlike the press, no
direct academic purpose.<BR>> <BR>> In the 1980s the athletic programs had
no state subsidy and yet the teams won Big Sky championships year after
year. I loved attending those games.<BR>> <BR>> If the athletic
department is adamant about remaining in the big leagues, the Meterley team has
a modest proposal for winning on the field and court.<BR>> <BR>> Meterley
recommends that one half of the Kibbie Dome football field be re-stripped in
meters. Vandal captains would always choose to defend the metered goal, if
they won the opening toss. At least for one half of the game, the opposing team
would have to gain 5 more yards for a touchdown and never know that they were at
a disadvantage.<BR>> <BR>> To improve our miserable win/loss record in
basketball, the Meterley team proposes that both the Kibbie Dome and practice
courts be secretly changed to meters. Practicing every day on the meter
courts, the Vandals would have a distinct advantage over opposing teams, whose
shots, especially from behind the 3-point circle, would always be short of the
basket.<BR>> <BR>> Some Vandal fans may be offended by these proposals,
but it is too bad that they can't take a joke. Others might say this is
cheating, and they of course would be right.<BR>> <BR>> The only solution,
says Meterley, is to return to the Big Sky Conference so that the Vandals can
start winning on the field, as they have always done so in letters, arts, and
sciences.<BR>> <BR>> Felix Iusemetriks is a very distant relative of Nick
Gier, President, Higher Education Council, University of Idaho, and Professor
Emeritus at the University of Idaho.<BR>> <BR>> <BR>>
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