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<p class=MsoNormal><st1:City w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on"><font size=2
color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial;
color:navy'>Arnold</span></font></st1:place></st1:City><font size=2
color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;font-family:Arial;
color:navy'> stated:<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>“You [Joe Campbell] and Jackie Woolf
are the only ones denying that Jackie Woolf went onto Mr. Wilson's property
without permission and was taking pictures. You are also now the only one
denying that J Ford is in fact Jackie Woolf.”<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>Oh . . . Oh . . . Our young, naïve <st1:City
w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Arnold</st1:place></st1:City>. It isn’t
merely Joe Campbell that is “denying that Jackie Woolf went onto Mr.
Wilson's property without permission”. It’s me, Michael Metzler,
the security force of the Opyr/Huskey Compound, and the whole danged Moscow
Police Department who are echoing those same sentiments.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>As far as J Ford being Jackie Woolf, I
must come clean. I must confess. I AM J FORD. There. I said it. The secret’s
out. I can no longer live a lie.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>In addition to being J Ford, I am<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>D B Cooper<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>The man that was behind the grassy knoll in
<st1:City w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Dallas</st1:place></st1:City> that
November 22, 1963 afternoon.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>The man that buried Jimmy Hoffa. But, for
the life of me, I can’t remember where.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>And now that the air is cleared on those
admissions, I must own up to my biggest infractions:<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>I was the man that put the bop in the
bop-shebop-shebop and the ill-fated ram in the rama-lama-dingdong.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>And in an earlier life I was Shari Lewis’
favorite sock puppet, NOT Lamb Chop, Charlie Horse, or Hush Puppie.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>It is ALL finally out in the open. Now,
maybe we can continue with our lives. I will return to my work at UI
Facilities. Joan can continue writing books. Doug Wilson can continue his
fantasy of building Wilsonville (his admission, not my allegation). And you, <st1:City
w:st="on">Arnold</st1:City>, you can . . . can . . . er . . . uh . . . just
what is it you do, <st1:City w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Arnold</st1:place></st1:City>?<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>Seeya round town, <st1:City w:st="on"><st1:place
w:st="on">Moscow</st1:place></st1:City>.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>Tom Hansen<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>AKA J Ford<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>AKA DB Cooper<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>AKA “The man that was behind the
grassy knoll in <st1:City w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Dallas</st1:place></st1:City>
that November 22, 1963 afternoon.”<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>AKA “The man that buried Jimmy Hoffa”<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>AKA “The man that put the bop in the
bop-shebop-shebop and the ill-fated ram in the rama-lama-dingdong”<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'>AKA “Tommy Bear” (Sheri Lewis’
favorite sock puppet)<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Arial><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Arial;color:navy'><o:p> </o:p></span></font></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Verdana><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;color:navy'>"Some mornings, it's just not worth
chewing through the leather straps." </span></font><font color=navy><span
style='color:navy'><o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 color=navy face=Verdana><span style='font-size:
10.0pt;font-family:Verdana;color:navy'><br>
-Emo Philips</span></font><o:p></o:p></p>
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