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<H1>UP FRONT/COMMENTARY: Kathy Hedberg... Image on sandwich gets a grilling on
eBay</H1><!--End Headline--><BR><!--Start Byline-->
<ADDRESS>Hedberg may be contacted at khedberg@lmtribune.com<BR></ADDRESS><!--End Byline-->
<P><!--Start Story-->When we hear somebody bid $11,000 for a toasted cheese
sandwich that purportedly bears the image of the Virgin Mary -- which actually
happened on eBay last week -- that's a sign of a really good sandwich or some
people just have way more money than they know what to do with.
<P>I am not saying paying $11,000 for a Virgin Mary sandwich wouldn't be worth
it, if it really were the stamp of the Virgin herself on that toasted bread.
<P>But I saw a picture of the sandwich on TV and I was skeptical. How did the
woman selling the sandwich know it was the Virgin Mary? It looked like Marilyn
Monroe to me.
<P>I know people can get a little carried away sometimes seeing things that seem
to be there but really aren't. A friend of mine told me he was taking a bubble
bath once and looked down at the bubbles and there was the perfect outline of
Elvis.
<P>He was amazed and called his wife into the bathroom.
<P>"Look there!" he said, pointing to the tub. "What do you see?"
<P>She studied for a moment and then answered, "It's the King!"
<P>I asked my friend, "How do you know she was talking about the bubbles?"
<P>"Because," he said, red-faced, "if she had been talking about something else
she would have called it the Prince!"
<P>Even if the claims about the sandwich were authentic, it seems strange the
Blessed Mother would choose to communicate to the human race through a toasted
cheese sandwich.
<P>It's perfectly reasonable to think she might have something to say to us. My
guess is she would say something like: "Stop hitting your brother!" "You kids
stop quarreling or I'm going to come down there and make you wish I hadn't!"
<P>But if the Virgin Mary were going to say something like that to us, you'd
think she'd choose a more reliable medium of communication.
<P>It's probably sheer coincidence the woman who made the sandwich realized
there was an image on the bread and was quick-thinking enough to advertise it on
eBay, the logical place for a religious relic. What if the Virgin Mary had been
trying to say something really important to the world through that sandwich and
the woman had served it to her husband for lunch?
<P>Or what if she'd left it out on the countertop and her dog grabbed it? The
key to world peace would now be inside a nasty pile in the back yard.
<P>I'm inclined to think if the Virgin Mary had something to say, she would let
us know in a way that couldn't be mistaken.
<P>She wouldn't say it on a sandwich, on a billboard, in a snow bank or in
window condensation.
<P>She would buy an ad in the Lewiston Tribune. </P></FONT></DIV></BODY></HTML>