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<p class=MsoNormal><font size=3 face="Times New Roman"><span style='font-size:
12.0pt'>Dear President Bush:</span></font><font size=2 color=black><span
style='font-size:11.0pt;color:black'><br>
<br>
</span></font><font color=black><span style='color:black'><br>
Congratulations on your victory over all us non-evangelicals. Actually, we're a
bit ticked off here in </span></font><font color=black><span style='color:black'>California</span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black'>, so we're leaving you. </span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black'>California</span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black'> will now be its own country. And we're
taking all the Blue States with us. In case you are not aware, that includes </span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black'>Hawaii</span></font><font color=black><span
style='color:black'>, </span></font><font color=black><span style='color:black'>Oregon</span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black'>, </span></font><font color=black><span
style='color:black'>Washington</span></font><font color=black><span
style='color:black'>, </span></font><font color=black><span style='color:black'>Minnesota</span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black'>, </span></font><font color=black><span
style='color:black'>Wisconsin</span></font><font color=black><span
style='color:black'>, </span></font><font color=black><span style='color:black'>Michigan</span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black'>, </span></font><font color=black><span
style='color:black'>Illinois</span></font><font color=black><span
style='color:black'>, all of the North East States, and the urban half of </span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black'>Ohio</span></font><font color=black><span
style='color:black'>. We spoke to God, and She agrees that this split will be
beneficial to almost everybody, and especially to us in the new country of </span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black'>California</span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black'>. In fact, God is so excited about it, She's
going to shift the whole country at </span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black'>4:30 pm EST</span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black'> this Friday. Therefore, please let
everyone know they need to be back in their states by then. </span></font><font
size=2 color=black><span style='font-size:11.0pt;color:black'><br>
<br>
</span></font><font color=black><span style='color:black'> </span></font><font
size=2 color=black><span style='font-size:11.0pt;color:black'><br>
<br>
</span></font><font color=black><span style='color:black'>God is going to give
us the </span></font><font color=black><span style='color:black'>Pacific Ocean</span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black'> and </span></font><font color=black><span
style='color:black'>Hollywood</span></font><font color=black><span
style='color:black'> - in addition, we're getting </span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black'>San Diego</span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black'>. This includes </span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black'>Camp</span></font><font color=black><span
style='color:black'> </span></font><font color=black><span style='color:black'>Pendleton</span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black'>, the Marines, the Army, the Navy, etc.
(Sorry, that's just how it goes.) But God is letting you have the KKK and
country music (except the Dixie Chicks).</span></font><font size=2 color=black><span
style='font-size:11.0pt;color:black'><br>
<br>
</span></font><font color=black><span style='color:black'><br>
Just so we're clear, the country of </span></font><font color=black><span
style='color:black'>California</span></font><font color=black><span
style='color:black'> will be pro-choice, pro-gay marriage, and anti-war.
Speaking of war, we're going to need all Blue States citizens back from </span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black'>Iraq</span></font><font color=black><span
style='color:black'>. If you need people to fight in Fallujah, just ask your
evangelical voters. They have tons of kids they're willing to send to their
deaths for absolutely no purpose. And they don't care if you don't show
pictures of their kids' caskets coming home.</span></font><font size=2
color=black><span style='font-size:11.0pt;color:black'><br>
<br>
</span></font><font color=black><span style='color:black'><br>
So, you get </span></font><font color=black><span style='color:black'>Texas</span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black'> and all the former slave states, and we
get the Governator and stem cell research. That's alright, though, we can take
care of the Governator next time we vote, and he can come and live with you.</span></font><font
size=2 color=black><span style='font-size:11.0pt;color:black'><br>
<br>
</span></font><font color=black><span style='color:black'>(We would love you to
take Britney Spears off our too, though. She IS from the South, right?)<br>
Since we get </span></font><font color=black><span style='color:black'>New York</span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black'>, you'll have to come up with your own
late night TV shows because we get MTV, Letterman, the Daily Show, and Conan
O'Brien. We'll be happy to let you have Jay Leno, but other than him...well,
why don't you ask your people at Fox News to come up with something
entertaining? Maybe you could just watch Crossfire. That's a really funny
show.)</span></font><font size=2 color=black><span style='font-size:11.0pt;
color:black'><br>
<br>
</span></font><font color=black><span style='color:black'><br>
We wish you all the best in the next four years and we hope, really hope, you
find those missing weapons of mass destruction. Seriously. We know how
irritating it is not to be able to find your keys.</span></font><font size=2
color=black><span style='font-size:11.0pt;color:black'><br>
<br>
</span></font><font color=black><span style='color:black'><br>
Sincerely,<br>
</span></font><font color=black><span style='color:black'>California</span></font><font
color=black><span style='color:black'> Country.</span></font></p>
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