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<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:Arial'>Uncle Sam Forced to Come Out After GOP Admits Mailing
Anti-Gay Fliers<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
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<p class=MsoNormal><font size=2 face=Arial><span style='font-size:10.0pt;
font-family:Arial'>Washington, DC – Last week, the Republican Party
finally admitted to sending mass mailings to God fearing Arkansans and West
Virginians predicting horrors if the Democrats were elected prompting an
extreme reaction from one of America’s most famous citizens, Uncle Sam.
The party owned up to composing a letter that demonized homosexuals, assuring
that they were in fact, actual live demons. They also claimed that the
Democrats would ban the Bible, and just in case the letter recipients
couldn’t read, the campaign literature featured a picture of John Kerry
followed by the = sign, and a picture of the bible with the big red circle and
the slash. Bush campaign manager Ken Mellman, who doesn’t even make as
much sense as Larry Bud Mellman, is believed to have stated something lame
like, “the gay people brought this on themselves by demanding equality.”
This was just too much for Uncle Sam, a former Republican, even though he
should be bi-partisan but instead was just bi. Long rumored to be gay due to
his being such a snappy dresser, and just to leave no room for doubt, Sam wore
sequins to a John Kerry rally and condemned the GOP dirty tricks before a
cheering crowd. Even if they don’t get their way in stripping civil
rights from gays, the Republicans can still fall back on the not banning the
Bible campaign angle and plan to send the good book to every voter. But they
were disappointed to find Cheney nixed the complimentary copy of 1984 they had
planned to send along with it.<o:p></o:p></span></font></p>
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