<HTML><BODY STYLE="font:10pt verdana; border:none;"><DIV>From Ted's post:</DIV> <DIV> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=arial,helvetica><FONT lang=0 face=Arial size=2 FAMILY="SANSSERIF" PTSIZE="10">>Auntie writes: "What our proximity to one another does is make us more cautious about leveling criticism."<BR><BR>>Judging from the flamings between locals on V2020, I wonder how true this really is. Maybe the assumption we know >each other better leads to less fear about what will happen if we criticize each other, because we may assume there is >less danger of someone going psycho than there is in a big city.</FONT></FONT></DIV> <DIV><FONT face=arial,helvetica><FONT lang=0 face=Arial size=2 FAMILY="SANSSERIF" PTSIZE="10"></FONT></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=arial,helvetica><FONT lang=0 face=Arial size=2 FAMILY="SANSSERIF" PTSIZE="10"></FONT></FONT> </DIV> <DIV><FONT face=arial,helvetica><FONT lang=0 face=Arial size=2 FAMILY="SANSSERIF" PTSIZE="10">Perhaps I should clarify my original observation. Who feels most free in this town to level criticism and/or launch a flame war? Those of us who least fear retaliation, either subtle or overt. Those of us who don't need contracts with the county or city, who can't be fired, and who won't lose business because of what we say or do. I am free to say what I say in large part because I'm outside the system. I work for myself. I'm not going to fire me, or fail to promote me, or in any other way harm my prospects by voicing my opinion. (It's certainly the case, however, that I've rendered myself unemployable in certain segments of Moscow. I have years of writing/editing experience, but I'm not being head hunted by Canon Press . . . well, not in the good sense of that term, anyway.) <BR><BR>>I am also not so sure about the assumption we really know each other better in a small town than in a big city. The >populations of small towns often assume they know each other better, and this quick, easy assumption can lead to >incomplete or stereotyped notions about who others are. Then people get trapped in rigid oversimplified stereotypes >that become how someone is seen, leading to less real understanding of who that person is in their totality, stereotypes >that do not allow for change.</FONT></FONT></DIV> <P><FONT face=arial,helvetica><FONT lang=0 face=Arial size=2 FAMILY="SANSSERIF" PTSIZE="10">I agree about the danger of generating stereotypes, but we do know each other superficially here in a way that people don't know one another in large cities. For example, before I met you online, Ted, or knew that you were my near neighbor, I knew that my Uncle-in-law Doug Amos had gone to high school with you. I knew the names of your parents, and that your dad was in the military. I knew that you'd studied philosophy at the U of I and that you were a bright student; Melynda had a class with you when she was an undergraduate. Later on, I met your landlord (and for a brief time, my father-in-law was your landlord) and so I learned how much rent he charged for your house. </FONT></FONT></P> <P><FONT face=arial,helvetica><FONT lang=0 face=Arial size=2 FAMILY="SANSSERIF" PTSIZE="10">I'm not collecting this information for blackmail purposes, and I'm not stalking you, I swear. I'm just illustrating a point -- that it's possible to access a certain level of knowledge about one another in this small town that you'd need a private detective to access in a large city. Does this superficial knowledge mean that I really knew you before I knew you? No, but it was a start. When you meet someone for the first time in Moscow, you tick the name off on a little mental list, and then you cross reference it with your friends and family and generate a preliminary portrait of your new acquaintance. This is what makes small town life simultaneously so interesting, so familiar, and so awful. If I wanted to be anonymous, I'd go back to Raleigh, NC, population 310,000. Sometimes, I'm tempted; at other times, I wouldn't dream of it.</FONT></FONT></P> <P><FONT face=arial,helvetica><FONT lang=0 face=Arial size=2 FAMILY="SANSSERIF" PTSIZE="10">>How many people flee small towns because they feel misunderstood with little hope for this to change? You can find a >thousand novels and songs based on this theme.<BR><BR>And at least 99% of the Country Music Billboard Top Forty. Small town life is both stifling and exhilarating, kind of like marriage. How many others, though, are fleeing the city, boarding that midnight train to Georgia and going back to find that simpler place and time? I've got to go, I've got to go, I've got to go . . . </FONT></FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Arial>Sorry. I was possessed for a moment there by the spirit of Gladys Knight. It happens sometimes.</FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Arial>Pips,</FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Arial>Joan Opyr/Auntie Establishment</FONT></P> <P><FONT face=Arial>PS: I also know that you love, love, love Jane Siberry, Ted, but you have only yourself to blame for that. I'd never have known if you hadn't publicly confessed!</FONT> </P></BODY></HTML><br clear=all><hr>Get more from the Web. FREE MSN Explorer download : <a href='http://explorer.msn.com'>http://explorer.msn.com</a><br></p>