[Vision2020] Trump Claims Constitution Invalid Because It Was Signed by Dead People (SATIRE)

Tom Hansen thansen at moscow.com
Tue Jan 5 10:03:31 PST 2021

Courtesy of the New Yorker at:


Trump Claims Constitution Invalid Because It Was Signed by Dead People

DALTON, GEORGIA (The Borowitz Report)—Advancing a new conspiracy theory during a rally on Monday, Donald J. Trump claimed that the United States Constitution is invalid because it was signed by dead people.

“All we’re hearing is, the Constitution this and the Constitution that,” Trump said. “I’m telling you, as sure as you’re sitting there, that every person who signed that piece of paper is dead.”

Trump said that he had his personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani investigate the signatories to the Constitution, “and he found a scandal bigger than Hunter Biden’s laptop.”

“Their signatures do not match the signatures of any living person,” he said. “Not only are these people dead, but they have been dead for a long, long time. This should never have been allowed to happen.”

In addition to questioning the legitimacy of the dead people’s signatures, Trump claimed that Alexander Hamilton’s “should be thrown out twice.”

“First of all, he’s dead, and second, he wasn’t born here,” he claimed.


Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .

"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)

Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho
“A stranger is just a friend you haven't met.” - Roy E. Stolworthy
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://mailman.fsr.com/pipermail/vision2020/attachments/20210105/cfaf34d7/attachment-0001.html>

More information about the Vision2020 mailing list