[Vision2020] F.D.A. Withdraws Approval from “Whatever Drug Rand Paul Is On” (SATIRE)

Tom Hansen thansen at moscow.com
Mon Aug 23 14:19:53 PDT 2021

Courtesy of the New Yorker at:


F.D.A. Withdraws Approval from “Whatever Drug Rand Paul Is On”

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Explaining that it was taking the action “out of an abundance of caution,” the Food and Drug Administration has withdrawn its approval from “whatever drug Rand Paul is on.”

The agency emphasized that it did not know what drug the senator was taking, or whether he was taking any drug at all, but asserted that it was withdrawing its approval out of a concern for public safety.

“If, in fact, Rand Paul is on something, we want to protect the American people from experiencing the same side effects that he appears to be exhibiting, such as irrationality, irritability, and difficulty processing information,” an F.D.A. spokesperson said.

The F.D.A.’s action drew a swift rebuke from Paul, who accused the agency of overreach and declared, “This is my brain on no drugs whatsoever.”

Responding to the Kentucky senator’s statement, the F.D.A. said that it was reversing its earlier decision but would refer Paul for further clinical study.


Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .

"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)

Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho

“A stranger is just a friend you haven’t met.”
- Roy E. Stolworthy
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