[Vision2020] Trump Wishes He Could Replace Fauci with the Doctor Who Saved Him from Vietnam (SATIRE)

Tom Hansen thansen at moscow.com
Thu May 14 10:03:50 PDT 2020

Courtesy of the New Yorker at:


Trump Wishes He Could Replace Fauci with the Doctor Who Saved Him from Vietnam

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald Trump wishes he could replace Anthony Fauci with the podiatrist who helped him avoid serving in the Vietnam War, Trump said on Thursday.

Speaking to reporters, Trump disparaged Fauci by arguing that he is not “half the doctor” that his former podiatrist was.

“You tell Tony to do something, and he says he has to look at a bunch of numbers and charts first, and even then he maybe doesn’t do what you told him to,” Trump complained. “You asked my foot doctor in Queens to say I had bone spurs and, boom, ten minutes later you got the note.”

If his podiatrist were still alive, Trump said, “I would tell him that the country was at war with coronavirus, and he would get me out of it, no questions asked.”

He also questioned whether Fauci was as medically qualified as his former podiatrist. “An epidemiologist like Tony specializes in just one thing,” Trump said. “A podiatrist has to know about both feet. That’s twice as much knowledge, medically speaking.”

Trump grew emotional as he recalled the “unbelievable service” that his beloved podiatrist performed for him. “That doctor saved lives,” he said.


In recognition to the reason why Donald Trump was excused from the draft during Vietnam . . .

“I Got Spurs That Jingle, Jangle, Jingle”

Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .

"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)
Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho
“A stranger is just a friend you haven't met.” - Roy E. Stolworthy

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