[Vision2020] Susan Collins to Self-Quarantine to Avoid Possible Contact with Decisions (SATIRE)

[Tom Hansen]

Courtesy of the New Yorker at:

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/susan-collins-to-self-quarantine-to-avoid-possible-contact-with-decisions

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Susan Collins to Self-Quarantine to Avoid Possible Contact with Decisions

WASHINGTON, D.C. (The Borowitz Report)—One week after the United States Senate returned to session, Senator Susan Collins, of Maine, said that she would self-quarantine to avoid possible contact with decisions.

Collins said that she had hoped to safely distance herself from any decisions while at the Senate but feared that the risk of accidental exposure to a decision was too great.

“I was troubled and concerned by how many decisions there were,” she said. “It did not feel safe to me.”

Collins said that she would self-quarantine until she is confident that the danger of being in the vicinity of a decision had clearly passed.

“As much as I hated making this decision, if it leads to me not making more decisions, it was a decision worth making,” she said on a Zoom call with reporters, before muting herself.

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Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .

"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)
http://www.TomandRodna.com/MoscowCares
  
Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho
“A stranger is just a friend you haven't met.” - Roy E. Stolworthy


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