[Vision2020] Dr. Fauci Reports That Alcohol May Help People Survive Coronavirus Briefings (SATIRE)

Tom Hansen thansen at moscow.com
Sun Mar 22 10:20:30 PDT 2020


Courtesy of the New Yorker at:

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/dr-fauci-reports-that-alcohol-may-help-people-survive-coronavirus-briefings

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Dr. Fauci Reports That Alcohol May Help People Survive Coronavirus Briefings

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Calling it a “promising development,” Dr. Anthony Fauci said on Sunday that alcohol may help people survive the most severe effects of coronavirus briefings.
 
Noting that millions of Americans have been exposed to the daily briefings of the White House Coronavirus Task Force, Fauci said that he had voluntarily submitted to a preliminary trial of the alcohol-based therapy.
 
“What we have found is that a single dosage before the briefing and as much as a double dosage after the briefing do much to alleviate the most acute suffering,” Fauci said.
 
The esteemed virologist said that if Americans are able to administer additional doses during the briefings, “Consider yourself lucky.”
 
But, even as Fauci hailed the benefits of the new treatment, he sounded a note of caution. “The effect of this medication is temporary,” he said. “Sadly.”
 
Fauci’s findings are in line with anecdotal reports indicating that Americans have been alleviating symptoms in a similar manner since November, 2016.

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Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .

"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)
http://www.MoscowCares.com
  
Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho

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