[Vision2020] Trump Considering Replacing Pence with Confederate Statue (SATIRE)

Tom Hansen thansen at moscow.com
Thu Aug 6 15:52:14 PDT 2020

Courtesy of the New Yorker at:


Trump Considering Replacing Pence with Confederate Statue

ASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Alarmed by his plunging poll numbers, Donald J. Trump is actively considering replacing Mike Pence on the G.O.P. ticket with a Confederate statue, White House sources have revealed.

According to the sources, Trump is currently considering a short list of Confederate monuments to swap for Pence, including statues of Robert E. Lee, Stonewall Jackson, and Jefferson Davis.

Reportedly, Trump believes that replacing Pence with a Confederate statue is just what his campaign needs to energize his base

“Plus, he’ll finally have someone in his inner circle who won’t write a book,” one source said.

According to the same source, choosing among the Confederate statues is shaping up to be the toughest decision of Trump’s Presidency. “He thinks they’re all very fine people,” the source said.

But another White House insider was less sanguine about the strengths a Confederate statue would bring to Trump’s reëlection effort.

“Replacing Pence with an inanimate object seems like a wash to me,” the insider said.


Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .

"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)
Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho
“A stranger is just a friend you haven't met.” - Roy E. Stolworthy
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