[Vision2020] Cuomo Says Florida Beachgoers Travelling to New York Must First Be Tested for I.Q. (SATIRE)
thansen at moscow.com
Mon Apr 20 17:24:30 PDT 2020
Courtesy of the New Yorker at:
Cuomo Says Florida Beachgoers Travelling to New York Must First Be Tested for I.Q.
ALBANY (The Borowitz Report)—After seeing images of Floridians crowding the beaches in Jacksonville, New York Governor Andrew Cuomo announced that all Florida beachgoers who travel to New York must first be tested for I.Q.
“Just as we’ve started flattening the curve, a surge in Florida beachgoers is the last thing our state needs,” Cuomo said. “And so, at all points of entry in New York, we will be ramping up I.Q. testing immediately.”
Cuomo said that, in order to administer I.Q. tests to all Florida beachgoers attempting to enter New York, the state will have to purchase tens of thousands of I.Q. tests on the open market.
“I asked the President for help in buying them, but he doesn’t believe in I.Q. tests,” the Governor said.
In Tallahassee, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis said that he was “hopping mad” at Cuomo for insisting that Florida beachgoers prove that they are capable of rational thought.
“I was on the beach in Jacksonville yesterday,” a defiant DeSantis said. “If I fly to New York right now, will my I.Q. be tested?”
Minutes later, Cuomo issued a brief response. “In the case of Governor DeSantis, I don’t think an I.Q. test is necessary,” he said.
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