[Vision2020] National Archives Report Someone Tried to Scrawl “Total Authority” with Sharpie on U.S. Constitution (SATIRE)
thansen at moscow.com
Tue Apr 14 10:33:22 PDT 2020
Courtesy of the New Yorker at:
National Archives Report Someone Tried to Scrawl “Total Authority” with Sharpie on U.S. Constitution
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—An unknown person attempted to scrawl the words “total authority” on the United States Constitution with a Sharpie, the National Archives reported on Tuesday.
A security guard spotted the attempted vandalism on Tuesday morning, when he noticed “something weird” on the glass case protecting the priceless historical document.
“Someone had written the words in big block letters,” the security guard said. “Plus, both ‘total’ and ‘authority’ were misspelled.”
“It looked like the work of a small child, but there are no school groups here because of the coronavirus and whatnot,” he added. “So it’s a real mystery.”
Harland Dorrinson, a spokesperson for the National Archives, said that, even though the Constitution was unharmed, the Archives are launching a “full investigation” to determine what “sick person” attempted to deface the document.
“Somewhere in Washington, there’s a person on the loose who hates the way the Constitution is actually written,” he said.
Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .
"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
More information about the Vision2020