[Vision2020] Nation’s Governors Consider Forming Country (SATIRE)

[Tom Hansen]

Courtesy of the New Yorker at:

https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/nations-governors-consider-forming-country

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Nation’s Governors Consider Forming Country

AMERICA (The Borowitz Report)—In order to better coördinate their efforts to combat the coronavirus, the nation’s governors are considering the extraordinary step of forming a country.
 
The radical proposal is an unusual bipartisan effort, spearheaded by the Democratic governor of Michigan, Gretchen Whitmer, and the Republican Governor of Ohio, Mike DeWine.
 
“Mike and I were bidding against each other for masks and ventilators, and I was, like, ‘Mike this is crazy,’ ” Whitmer said. “ ‘It would be so much better if we just worked together and formed a country.’ ”
 
DeWine said that Whitmer’s proposal of creating a country out of the fifty states “made a lot of sense.”
 
“It was one of those moments where someone throws out a nutty idea and you think, ‘Hold on, let’s think on that for a second,’ ” he said.
 
While the idea of the fifty states coming together to form a country is still in the embryonic stage, DeWine said that the states would ideally create a “federal government” led by a “President.”
 
“We’re all in agreement that it would be amazing to have a President right now,” DeWine said.
 
A straw poll of the governors indicates that the front-runner for President of this yet-to-be-named country is one of their own: Governor Andrew Cuomo, of New York.
 
“Andrew keeps saying that he doesn’t want to be President,” Whitmer said. “And I’m, like, ‘Dude, you already are.’ ”

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Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .

"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)
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Tom Hansen
Moscow, Idaho

“You’re a Mean One, Mr. Trump”
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