[Vision2020] Fauci Urges Non-Essential Worker to Go Home (SATIRE)
thansen at moscow.com
Sat Apr 4 04:37:02 PDT 2020
Courtesy of the New Yorker at:
Fauci Urges Non-Essential Worker to Go Home
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Dr. Anthony Fauci has urged a non-essential employee of the White House Coronavirus Task Force to go home immediately, Fauci confirmed on Friday.
Speaking to reporters, the esteemed virologist said that he made the decision to expel the worker for “the health and safety of others.”
“He said that he felt fine coming to work every day,” Fauci said. “I told him, ‘You may feel fine, but by coming into work you are endangering the lives of countless others.’ ”
Fauci said that his decision to send the non-essential worker home was based on the most recent scientific findings.
“What we’re learning is that breathing and talking can put lives in jeopardy, and this one worker did more breathing and talking than anyone else on the team,” he said.
The employee is expected to spend fourteen hours a day in isolation watching television, a two-hour increase from his normal routine.
Seeya 'round town, Moscow, because . . .
"Moscow Cares" (the most fun you can have with your pants on)
“You’re a Mean One, Mr. Trump”
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
More information about the Vision2020