[Vision2020] House Passes Resolution Overnight Apologizing If Previous Racism Resolution Came Off Too Harsh (SATIRE)
thansen at moscow.com
Wed Jul 17 14:08:46 PDT 2019
Courtesy of The Onion at:
House Passes Resolution Overnight Apologizing If Previous Racism Resolution Came Off Too Harsh
WASHINGTON—In an abrupt reversal of the symbolic but sternly written condemnation of the president’s racist remarks he tweeted earlier this week, the House of Representatives passed a resolution overnight Tuesday apologizing if their previous racism resolution came off as too harsh. “The rebuke was unfortunately put to a vote while we were still very upset about the president’s comments, but now that we’ve had a chance to cool down, we’re sorry if the censure came off as a bit mean,” said Speaker Nancy Pelosi, explaining that the new declaration—passed unanimously by members of the House—expressed their regret and sincere apologies if their rebuke of the president’s remark that four representatives of color should “go back to where they came from” was cruel or hurtful. “As soon as it passed, we realized how cold the document condemning racism would read, and we all rushed right back into the Capitol building to fix it. We were just blowing off steam and, to be honest, didn’t think the resolution would ever leave the House. So once again, we’re very sorry.” Pelosi added that Congress had allocated $100 to take the president out for a nice dinner as a way to apologize for their gross overreaction to the leader of the United States stoking xenophobia in the country.
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